Holiday Traditions

When I was growing up, I knew exactly where I was going to be on Thanksgiving and on Christmas Eve.  I knew not to get out of bed before 5:30am on Christmas morning. We opened presents on Christmas Day, not Christmas Eve.  We had ham on Christmas and turkey on Thanksgiving.

In my late teens, my mom’s family quit gathering on Thanksgiving.  Where will we go?  What will we do?  Every year after that was different.  These days I cook, not knowing who will be around to eat.

A few years later, my dad’s family decided not to gather on Christmas Eve and get together a week or two before Christmas.  What will we do on Christmas Eve now?  Where will we go?  What will we do? 

I married, divorced, moved away, came back, changed jobs…as did my siblings and cousins.  We had children.  They grew up and got jobs, married, had children.  Getting together as our family extends and extends is challenging.  We do our best.

Trying to establish new holiday traditions has become, well, challenging to say the least, sometimes frustrating, often disappointing.  And I’m just talking about my immediate family!

This Christmas the planning looked something like this:

Are we having Chinese again this Christmas Eve? I don’t know.  Are we opening presents Christmas Eve?  I don’t know.  I’m babysitting then we have small kids around and I don’t know when Anna will be home.  Anna, what time will you be home?  I don’t know.

What time will the kids be up in the morning?  I don’t know – be here by 6a.m.  Are we opening presents then?  I don’t know.  What time are the kids leaving?  I don’t know.  What time is Christmas dinner?  I don’t know.  Are we playing cards after dinner?  I don’t know. I think they are going fishing.

So, I think that is what’s called ‘winging it’!  It ended up being a lovely holiday filled with excitement and confusion, but we had ourselves … a merry little Christmas! I would have to say, though, that our core traditions were: spending as much time as possible together, appreciating each other, and not being attached to traditions-past.

Today is New Year’s Eve!  What am I doing?  I don’t know…yet.  But whatever it is, it will be right and perfect.  Being okay with not knowing takes practice, focusing on what is important and not on what should have been because it has already been – that’s the challenge and the gift.  I’m getting better every year!

Happy New Year everyone!

I Got the "I Gotta" Holiday Blues

I gotta bake the banana bread - with no nuts - for Kitty and Dawn, bake the date nut bread for Rod, make peanut brittle and spiced nuts - because I always do - and mail some to Dad in Florida, clean the windows before putting the lights up - cause I should, bake pumpkin roll cake for Anna, buy a ham - even though there's no room in the frig with all the baking supplies, and make ten pounds of peanut butter balls for - everyone!  Bake cookies for Men's Night at the Higher Self, as well as make liqueurs - saves me money.  Buy champagne and chocolates for Ladies Night.

Shop and haul in my van that needs repair.  Figure out what to wear to events and parties. Well, you get the idea.  And I'm sure you all have your own lists.  But here's the question:  Why do we do this?

Kitty and Dawn love my banana bread.  Date nut is my brother Rod's favorite since Mom started making it years ago.  Since Mom has passed, I've been baking it for him.  Daughter Anna has her favorite and my extended family and friends look forward all year to my peanut butter balls.  We do it because we love them.  It doesn't matter if they have been naughty or nice.

When I'm in my right mind (the one in my heart), I am creating with love.  When I'm not, well, best stay out of my kitchen.  The trick is remembering to stay in my right mind.   After all these years you'd think I had this down, but noooooooooooo...I still forget.

It takes practice to be in that loving, giving space, especially during the holidays.  I am way closer than I was but I'm not always "there."  Reminders help.  Sticky notes, holiday music, greetings cards taped up where I can see them.

I much prefer to be in my right (heart) mind, so I invite you to join me in reciting these affirmations as often as is necessary (for you):  I am so blessed.  I love to give and give in love.  I am joyful in my labors of love.

And breathe...deeply...often.  And smile, even if no one is around.  I wish for you right-mindedness. It's truly a gift you deserve.  And, Happy Holidays!  I must sign off now...need to finish knitting that mohawk-style cap for my grandson, Jonathan.  It's okay to write that...he can't read yet.

What's On Your Plate?

You've heard the expressions, "My plate is full."  "I can't fit anymore on my plate right now." Is a
bigger plate required?  Lately I've been saying "yes" to more and more ideas and businesses and business extensions because, well, they sounded good!  Possibilities of additional income were too tempting to say no to.  More responsibilities, more to learn, more people to talk to, new websites to maintain, and more work and, intentionally, more fun!

I've been contemplating this plate of mine.  How do I make it bigger?  Can I make it bigger?  My mind wandered to plates and food, of course. Since my Virtual Gastric Bypass hypnosis, I eat much smaller amounts of food, requiring a smaller plate.  I've lost weight and I am healthier.

Imagine with me a typical Thanksgiving dinner plate of food.  There was a time I loaded up the big plate and ate it all.  I was uncomfortable for the next several hours, I gained weight, and I jeopardized my wellness.  Today, I could not do that plate of food justice.  Turkey would be half eaten, potatoes barely touched, the vegetables...who has room for vegetables?

So back to my needing a bigger plate for all my new endeavors.  Being honest, I am not truly doing justice to many of the items on my plate.  None are being handled really well.  The intended "fun" is not yet my reality.  The challenges could be creating the healthy kind of stress, but that is not the case at this time.  I spent most of August sick and the last week and a half down with a cold and sinus congestion.  Say it with me...Duh!

It's time to clean my plate.  Where do I want to put my attention?  In what areas do I want to excel?  What can be delegated?  Which brings me the most joy?  I'm gonna get me a smaller plate!

What size is your plate?  Too full and you can explode.  Not full enough and you will get bored.  We need a plate that's just right holding just the right amounts.  It's called balance!  Balance with me and have a wonderful, joyful day of Thanks!

Darn That Squirrel!

There is a milk shoot/box off my kitchen where the milkman used to deliver milk.  Yes, it's an old little house, but it has a huge backyard!  I have often looked out this shoot and watched the gray squirrels, black squirrels, rabbits, chipmunks, cardinals, blue jays and other birds, and the occasional racoon and skunk.  Many times there would be six to eight squirrels running and playing while a robin splashed in the bird bath and a chipmunk looked for ways to get into the house.  The male cardinal was a regular and the female cardinal kept to the shadows.  Whenever I saw the cardinal I told myself all is well, Spirit is with me.  My sign for myself, my personal affirmation.

A few weeks ago I noticed a little red squirrel had started coming around.  At first I was delighted.  But then I noticed "Red" chasing the other squirrels (twice its size) out of the yard!  I haven't seen the birds much and spot the rabbit rarely.  "Red" has taken over the yard!

Another phenomenon this summer:  Green pine cones were littering the yard!  Sticky with sap, we'd pick them up before letting JS, my grandson, out in the yard, knowing he'd grab them and then be covered in pine pitch.  We picked up hundreds!  Looking out the milk shoot last week, after cleaning up the yard, I noticed three cones down, all in one area.  As I watched, more fell.  And more fell.  I finally stuck my head out the shoot and looked way up to the top of the tree.  There was "Red" knocking the cones off!  Within minutes there were about forty cones on the ground and I couldn't help but laugh.

The question came to mind, "How and why did I attract this red squirrel into my life?"  As a believer that I create the experiences in my life with my beliefs, I often use this type of question to take note of what I'm up to, what I'm thinking, what is the vibration I am putting out there into the Universe.

Knowing that it often takes a little time for my creation to be made manifest, I took myself back into the past few weeks, months.  Studying the squirrel, it appeared to me that "Red" wanted the yard, now its home, all to itself.  Not too long ago I was, let's say, not comfortable in my own home.  People moved into my little house with me.  People I loved and cared for.  But I was having a hard time coping with the messiness, added chores I had assigned to myself, and mostly the lack of privacy.  I felt I had lost my sanctuary.

So I think "Red" showed up to mirror the vibration/energy I was creating as I figured out how to live in this new way.  But even before "Red" moved in, I had started to shift my thoughts and beliefs into ones that better matched what I preferred.  I found ways to ask for what I wanted in the home, created a space for myself for privacy and sanctuary, and appreciated the company of family and friends in my home.

Now I get to watch what unfolds in my backyard as my new thoughts and beliefs go out into the Universe.  Will "Red" leave, or make nice with the other animals and birds?  I'll keep watching out the milk shoot and keep you posted.  By the way, what's going on in your backyard (Life) that needs a closer look?

Struggle? Suffer?

We will all have struggles but we don't have to suffer.  These words, or similar because I can't remember where I read them recently, really got me thinking.  Do I struggle?  Do I suffer?  The words in and of themselves are not ones that usually come to my mind.  Instead, yes, I face challenges.  Yes, I don't always feel good as I work through those challenges.

Over the years, I have learned a more positive way of thinking and speaking - though I must admit I regress from time to time.  Challenge feels better than struggle, don't you think?  But I can understand how some people feel the need to struggle and suffer during their struggling.  It's what they know.

At the moment you could say I am struggling with these words to say what I want to say.  Wrestling comes to mind.  You could say that I suffered through my bronchitis last month, coughing most nights instead of sleeping.  Funny, I never considered myself suffering.  I felt bad, undeniably, and getting well was my challenge (struggle?).

Suffer - to endure, tolerate - was not always energetically negative.  We have made it so and the dictionary I'm looking at actually confirms this.  Struggle by definition must include great difficulty.  We can make things so hard sometimes, can't we?  Is our reward bigger by degree of difficulty?

Many claim that words have power, that they have higher or lower vibrations and should be used carefully.  I agree to a point.  For me, if you have absolutely no energy one way or another on or about a word, it is neutral and without vibration.  I could be wrong about this, but I know I can use the words struggle and suffer without fear of consequence.  Someone who does have a negative belief on these words will most likely attract more suffering and more struggles if this is their focus.

How did I get to this place?  Well, of course, my trainings and studies of personal and spiritual growth.  But late, I think it's because I have been practicing (practicing, as in I'm not perfect at it yet) surrender.  Not giving up, but surrendering to what is, doing what needs to be done, and knowing the answers will come and the outcomes will be for my highest good.  There is no suffering in surrender, at least in my experience.

So, there it is.  Yes, there will always be challenges (life would be pretty boring without some), but suffering is a choice.  My musings.  Tell me what you "muse" about this subject!  I'd love to hear from you.

Unattached

A couple weekends ago I was visiting my Dad and found myself sitting with him and watching, of all things, a baseball game on TV.  I gave myself permission a long time ago to not put my energy and time into watching and following sports just so I could remember the names of players, statistics, and who-is-in-what-place for conversational purposes (mostly connected to meeting and talking with men).  I just am not that interested and prefer to put my attention elsewhere.

There is nothing wrong with sports and I understand it is a favorite pastime for many people.  Both my grandmothers were baseball fans and rarely missed a Tiger's game on TV.  I, myself, attended many baseball and hockey games just for the fun of it.

Anyway, watching the Tiger's game with Dad, I found I was thoroughly enjoying myself.  I didn't know the players, did notice some new protective gear they were wearing since I stopped paying attention, and did ask Dad a question or two about rules I had forgotten.  Fascinating!

It reminds me of a book I read last year, The Five Levels of Attachment.  In the book, Don Miguel Ruiz, Jr. explained the levels using sports as an example.  I could watch the baseball game, be pleasantly entertained, and sigh just a bit when the Tigers lost.  No attachment.

Some people are really into their sports and tend to identify to an extreme with their team of choice.  The very highest level of attachment is evident in their reaction to a team loss with the experience of deep anger, depression, even suicide.  And then there are those levels in-between.

Attachments can be detrimental to your health - body, mind and spirit.  Through personal growth classes, this is something I worked on and continue to look at diligently.  I'm talking about being attached to things, people, and beliefs.  Thinking I couldn't live without something or someone, that I would just die without them or it, was a miserable way to live.  I saw the truth in this and had to let go of attachments - well, maybe not all, I am a work in progress after all.

I do prefer to keep things around that make my life easier.  Makeup mirror, toothbrush, stove and refrigerator, running water...  And I prefer to keep my family and friends close, for as long as possible.  But I am not attached, though this may sound cold and heartless to some. 

How attached are you to your beliefs? Opinions? Points of view?  Ideas?  It's worth a look into identifying the attachments that are limiting and denying you the life you want to create.  Imagine living without the cords that bind, free to fly, open in mind and heart.

I Didn't Know I Didn't Know

There are many things I don’t know the knowing of which could change everything.  I know, I’ve written this before but it never ceases to amaze me how new information can totally change my way of thinking, living, eating, and even spending my money.

Take hemp for example.  Do you know what hemp is?  When asked this question I said, well yeah, they make bracelets and bags out of it.  And rope.  And I’ve seen it on the shelves at the health food store.  And I didn’t believe it was the same as marijuana – you don’t get high off of it.

Oh, my gosh!  I started researching hemp and I was blown away by what I found!  It can not only be used for thousands and thousands of products, it is very high in protein, and it’s been used for thousands and thousands of years for medicinal purposes.  Then, I got angry because hemp growing was pretty much made illegal in the United States about 75 years ago.  Hemp is not marijuana – I was right about that.

No wonder I didn’t know much about it.  It was taken away from me.  Yes, I did take this personally.

I don’t know what else I don’t know.  But I don’t worry too much about it.  The Universe will let me know when I need to know, preferably in a gentle way though a smack alongside the head is also appreciated when I’m just not paying attention.  The more awake and aware I am, the more I am blessed with gentle guidance.

As a promoter of natural wellness for body, mind, and spirit, the Higher Self Bookstore is now carrying a high quality line of hemp oil products.  Come check it out!  Or call or email us for more information.  There is something here you may not know, the knowing of which could change YOUR everything!

Here Comes 'da Judge

There I go dating myself.  This comes from an old TV program called Laugh In.  Judging, in many personal growth arenas, is emphasized as a bad thing.  Well, most good trainings would not use the word bad, or the word good.  It’s about what works! And I agree.

There is no right or wrong.  It’s about what works.  Throughout this blog I will use good and bad and right and wrong for the sake of clarity. Being judgmental is not bad and wrong, unless it is.

This is usually referring to our automatic responses  based on what we’ve decided to believe is right, wrong, good, bad, acceptable, offensive, pretty, ugly, affordable, expensive, moral, ethical, valuable, worthwhile, worthless, evil, deserving, safe, dangerous, etc. 

As you take note of these responses, these thoughts that pop into your head without your permission, you see how they limit your experience of someone or something, not allowing for new information to be brought forth.

You will resist this awakening because your “judge” likes to be right.  Your “judge” would actually have you believe you are right than let you be happy.  Human beings will fight for their right to be right, sacrificing love and happiness, prosperity, health, and peace of mind.

When you practice being non-judgmental, you’ll acknowledge that you’ve been right about some things and wrong about others.  You’ll learn to observe from an “it’s not bad and it’s not good, it just is” place. “It’s not ugly, it’s just not my cup of tea.”  “Someone’s junk is another person’s treasure.”

We have given meaning to everything throughout our lives.  We are meaning making machines!  We have opinions about politics, religion, marriage, raising children, money, sex, the rights/wrongs/goods/bads/ likes/dislikes – just try and think of something you don’t have an opinion about.

Now, some people have taken non-judgmentality (I think I made this word up) a little too far.  You may become a person with no opinion – ever!  You quit making decisions because you don’t want it considered a judgment.  You become a fence-sitter.  Conversations with you become boring, even frustrating, because you won’t take a stand, afraid you’ll be considered judgmental.  

I have seen a personal growth student stopped cold upon hearing an accusation that they are being judgmental.  Like it is the very worst thing in the world to be!  What the student didn’t hear, even though the teacher may have spoken it, is that judging is not wrong or bad when it works – using discernment.

In order to use discernment, you must be open to receiving all the information, that which you think you already know and have an opinion about, and that which you don’t know.  You must be discerning when buying a house or a car, because you prefer not to end up in a fire trap or a lemon – am I right?  Be discerning picking out a college, a career, a doctor, or a mate!  Be discerning about your health or your child’s daycare.

What we are talking about is noticing the mind chatter of  “da judge” within you.  The chatter is the automatic thinking hatched from the beliefs you have.  This is core and the noticing is key in your growth. So just notice, and be fascinated!

May I?

Ah, Spring!  It's May (well, tomorrow) and I don't know about you but I feel like I've been given permission to do, do, do!  As in...

May I put the snow shovels away?  Yes I May!
May I rake the leaves now? Yes I May!
May I put my winter coats and heavy sweaters away?  Yes I May!
May I Spring clean now? Yes I May!
May I start stocking the store for the warm weather visitors?  Yes I May!

This reminds me of times I did not receive permission...from myself.

May I buy a new coat?  No, you must spend your money only on necessities.  Besides, it still keeps you warm and, hey, you really haven't earned a new coat, have you?  So, no.

Sometimes I put up a fight.

Look!  I've lost a lot of weight and this coat is too big and it is, after all, 16 years old!!!  No, I'm sorry, there are lots of starving children in China who do not have a coat.  You must learn to appreciate what you do have and be grateful.

I did not get a new coat.

Do you wait around for permission to fulfill your heart's desire?  Are you working on your worthiness to deserve what you say it is you want?  How often do you tell yourself "no", "never", "can't", "not yet."  Of course, there will be times when the practical, rational decision is "not yet."

Practice noticing when you deny yourself.  Dig a little under the surface objections.  Then go a little deeper still.  If you find some old baggage that doesn't serve you any more, find a way to get rid of it.  Set yourself free so you can say "Yes!" way more often than "no."

It may feel like the Universe has opened up and given me permission to move forward to do what I want to do, even go after my dreams.  I know what really happened - I kicked the baggage to the curb and gave myself a great big "YES!"

You can, too!  Spring clean that "stuff" you've been holding on to, that baggage inside of you.  We'll do it together.  Happy Spring!  And the season of  - yes I MAY!

What Brings You Joy?

What brings you joy?  This is a trick question, of course, because joy does not come to you.  Joy is not brought to you.  It's not laid out on a buffet in different flavors, shapes and sizes.

Yes, you can find yourself, or put yourself, in situations where it is easy to create the emotion of joy.  You can seek out or re-create the setting where you easily experienced joy in the past.  But still, the truth is, you chose joy - joy didn't choose you.

Thinking about joy this morning - and I don't know why I was thinking about joy this morning - I asked myself why, if I am at choice, did I not choose joy more often?  Of course, I would definitely benefit from being more joyful.  And wouldn't those around me also benefit if I was "being" more joy-filled?

Yesterday I was depressed.  I didn't consciously choose to be depressed.  Somewhere along the way I had trained my subconscious to create the feelings of depression when certain situations occurred.  Awakening to this awareness, I can now take conscious steps in re-training my subconscious.  How will I do that?  Awareness is key, so I will be vigilant in noticing when this happens and shift my thoughts and choose to feel something different.  I'll do some prep work through meditation and self-hypnosis.

Being depressed is not my emotion of preference.  I am leery of trying to cover up an unwanted emotion with a pseudo "happy" feeling.  There's a lesson in the depression and I want answers, so I usually stick with it awhile to see what comes up.  I want my reward!

We have been programmed from early on to respond with actions and feelings to our environment.  We can re-program ourselves to respond and feel differently, in a way we prefer, with a little work.  There are many tools and trainings, books and teachers - including your inner teacher - to help us with this shift in ourselves.

Well, I've got work to do - and so do you!  Don't be afraid to ask for help.  We at the Higher Self Bookstore have many resources - one that's perfect for you!

Success and Duality

Success.  It seems a rather ambiguous term to me.  I looked both “success” and “ambiguous” up in the dictionary.  Ambiguous means having two or more meanings.  Success is having a favorable outcome or result.  The Higher Self Bookstore has succeeded in keeping its doors open throughout the economic downslide as well as the most recent unfavorable weather that kept lots of people at home.

Success can also mean the gaining of wealth, fame, etc.  I cannot claim success by that definition.  Like most things, the meaning of what is gets to be quite personal. 

One of my favorite quotes from Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch is “There is something I don’t know here, the knowing of which can change everything!”  Some things I have learned recently (often kicking and screaming):

I am powerful and powerless at the same time.

I am wealthy and yet have no money, at the same time.

My surrender does not allow for doing nothing.

I am a success and a failure at the same time.

I can be very focused and quite blind at the same time.

Oh, there’s more, but you can get the picture.  Duality Reality! Depending on where I put my attention is the reality I experience in that moment.  That and there is where I make a choice.

Like I said, the Higher Self Bookstore has been very successful in keeping the doors open to serve you, either with the books and products you desire or with services to counsel and assist you in your personal and spiritual growth.  Even as a place just to breathe, find some peace, maybe even a hug, a smile, a laugh.

What we haven’t been successful in is being able to expand our services to you.  To keep the latest and greatest books and products on the shelves, fulfill special orders timely, or create an online store for our out-of-town or snowed in customers.  Our computer is antiquated, as is our web site. The store itself could use new carpeting, the walls painted, etc.  We haven’t failed – we just haven’t succeeded in those goals yet!

There are the facts to consider, but we get to choose the meaning of how those facts affect our reality.  We are all a success!  That’s how I see it.  I look forward to serving you successfully today, tomorrow, and in the years to come!  How I serve and where I serve may be different, but I will never fail in my commitment to make a difference.

Love - Then and Now

Who Is She?

She’s always been near,

No doubt she exists.

She swims in a tear,

And lives on a kiss.

Her home is the heart.

Two hands she will hold

And cling ere they part

When sweet words are told.

She sings in an ear,

She puts gleam in eyes,

In dreams she’ll appear

And sweeten the sighs.

She freshens the tone,

In songs, she sings of...

She plays not alone,

She’s known as .......... 

She's knows...LOVE!  I wrote this poem as a teenage.  Ha!  What I didn't know then that I know now.   Then, it was reading articles in teen magazines on how to get a guy to like you.  Then, it was figuring out how to keep the guy. I don't know where I got the idea to be the girl he wanted me to be instead of the wonderful young girl I already was. Ah, the teenage pain of wanting to be loved.

I don't recall anyone teaching me to love myself first.  It may have been mentioned, in passing. Love someone and let someone love you.  That is what I remember.

I've mentioned before my favorite books, Conversations With God.  I went to a retreat with the author, Neale Donald Walsch, a few years ago.  I raised my hand and asked him to expand on a quote from the book, Book One I believe - when faced with a decision to be made, "What would love do?"  He looked at me closely and said something along the lines of "you are wanting to make choices with your love for another, right?"  I agreed. Then he said, "You must first ask yourself - What would love for ME do?"

I said, "Oh."

I had never really thought of that.  How strange!  I always put someone else first in my decision making.  It was "bassackwards!"  And, a hard habit to break.  I practice...practice...practice.

So, not exactly a romantic love story, but an important one.  Be your own Valentine!  Fall in love with yourself!  This is the best Valentine's gift you can give to yourself, and everyone - yes, everyone else.