Holiday Traditions

When I was growing up, I knew exactly where I was going to be on Thanksgiving and on Christmas Eve.  I knew not to get out of bed before 5:30am on Christmas morning. We opened presents on Christmas Day, not Christmas Eve.  We had ham on Christmas and turkey on Thanksgiving.

In my late teens, my mom’s family quit gathering on Thanksgiving.  Where will we go?  What will we do?  Every year after that was different.  These days I cook, not knowing who will be around to eat.

A few years later, my dad’s family decided not to gather on Christmas Eve and get together a week or two before Christmas.  What will we do on Christmas Eve now?  Where will we go?  What will we do? 

I married, divorced, moved away, came back, changed jobs…as did my siblings and cousins.  We had children.  They grew up and got jobs, married, had children.  Getting together as our family extends and extends is challenging.  We do our best.

Trying to establish new holiday traditions has become, well, challenging to say the least, sometimes frustrating, often disappointing.  And I’m just talking about my immediate family!

This Christmas the planning looked something like this:

Are we having Chinese again this Christmas Eve? I don’t know.  Are we opening presents Christmas Eve?  I don’t know.  I’m babysitting then we have small kids around and I don’t know when Anna will be home.  Anna, what time will you be home?  I don’t know.

What time will the kids be up in the morning?  I don’t know – be here by 6a.m.  Are we opening presents then?  I don’t know.  What time are the kids leaving?  I don’t know.  What time is Christmas dinner?  I don’t know.  Are we playing cards after dinner?  I don’t know. I think they are going fishing.

So, I think that is what’s called ‘winging it’!  It ended up being a lovely holiday filled with excitement and confusion, but we had ourselves … a merry little Christmas! I would have to say, though, that our core traditions were: spending as much time as possible together, appreciating each other, and not being attached to traditions-past.

Today is New Year’s Eve!  What am I doing?  I don’t know…yet.  But whatever it is, it will be right and perfect.  Being okay with not knowing takes practice, focusing on what is important and not on what should have been because it has already been – that’s the challenge and the gift.  I’m getting better every year!

Happy New Year everyone!

I Got the "I Gotta" Holiday Blues

I gotta bake the banana bread - with no nuts - for Kitty and Dawn, bake the date nut bread for Rod, make peanut brittle and spiced nuts - because I always do - and mail some to Dad in Florida, clean the windows before putting the lights up - cause I should, bake pumpkin roll cake for Anna, buy a ham - even though there's no room in the frig with all the baking supplies, and make ten pounds of peanut butter balls for - everyone!  Bake cookies for Men's Night at the Higher Self, as well as make liqueurs - saves me money.  Buy champagne and chocolates for Ladies Night.

Shop and haul in my van that needs repair.  Figure out what to wear to events and parties. Well, you get the idea.  And I'm sure you all have your own lists.  But here's the question:  Why do we do this?

Kitty and Dawn love my banana bread.  Date nut is my brother Rod's favorite since Mom started making it years ago.  Since Mom has passed, I've been baking it for him.  Daughter Anna has her favorite and my extended family and friends look forward all year to my peanut butter balls.  We do it because we love them.  It doesn't matter if they have been naughty or nice.

When I'm in my right mind (the one in my heart), I am creating with love.  When I'm not, well, best stay out of my kitchen.  The trick is remembering to stay in my right mind.   After all these years you'd think I had this down, but noooooooooooo...I still forget.

It takes practice to be in that loving, giving space, especially during the holidays.  I am way closer than I was but I'm not always "there."  Reminders help.  Sticky notes, holiday music, greetings cards taped up where I can see them.

I much prefer to be in my right (heart) mind, so I invite you to join me in reciting these affirmations as often as is necessary (for you):  I am so blessed.  I love to give and give in love.  I am joyful in my labors of love.

And breathe...deeply...often.  And smile, even if no one is around.  I wish for you right-mindedness. It's truly a gift you deserve.  And, Happy Holidays!  I must sign off now...need to finish knitting that mohawk-style cap for my grandson, Jonathan.  It's okay to write that...he can't read yet.