The last few days have been rather calm around my house. My daughter moved to her own place, all demands of December are done and over. I haven't had to be someplace or cook something or put out any fires. It's unnerving really. I keep waiting for something to come slap me up-side the head, out of nowhere - it's been that kind of year.
I've been "resting" after the holidays, or trying to. What I feel is more like "restless." Just because I'm at rest doesn't mean my mind shut off feeding me all the things I "should" be doing. I had been holding an intention for peace in my house. Calm is not the same as peace. I sit in the calm, but my body is amped up for fight or flight! What next?! What will go wrong?! I can't seem to get to the "all is well and all is well and manner of things shall be well." I want to relax! That's it! At least now I know what it is I want. Aha! We all want transformation because it feels so good to have those "aha" moments. With the "aha" we get to smile, experience gratitude and peace. I like it, too, so I pondered my feelings of restlessness searching for my "issue." If I have an issue I can process it and get myself an "aha!" I have been known to make up an issue just to have transformation. Now there's an issue to process right there.
This is how we normally experience transformation: We are at peace, going through our days in joy...for awhile. We start to feel a little restless - let's call it what it is: We get bored. So we go out and create/draw to us a little drama! Usually something we've gone through before because we already know how to handle it. We do handle it, survive it, and feel good about that. Now we are at peace again, going through out days in joy. This is how we experience "life" - when we are not fully conscious. Like a spinning wheel.
On a more conscious level we do look deep for the issue, the belief that has this feeling or drama re-occurring. If we can find it and let it go, at least that one won't show up again. Real transformation takes focus and work. We have to be awake for it.
But when we are asleep, we spin the wheel. I don't know about you but I'd like to get off this wheel. I want to feel okay with experiencing peace, to relax - in the calm or in the chaos. Breathe with me, ah............and know that we do not have to "survive a whack up-side the head" just to have something to do. We can relax...it's okay.
