Wednesday, November 30, 2011

Playing the Game


On a lazy Saturday afternoon during vacation, we were sitting around playing a game called Skip-Bo. The object of the game (in order to win, of course) was to get rid of the 30 cards in your stack. The strategy in winning was to not play cards that would allow another player to play a card off their stack.

During the fifth (I think, I kinda lost tract) game I had a thought come to me about changing the intention of the game. As this idea developed it became more and more uncomfortable to play the way I had been playing, which was basically a cut-throat strategy.

So, for the next game, I presented this idea: The intention of the game is to play in such a way as to help everyone else to win. You still had to follow the rules, and you absolutely had to play the card at the top of your stack if it could be played. I called it taking care of yourself.

One of us became quite disturbed at first, not because she didn't want to play with that intention, but because she no longer knew how to play. Changing the intention changed the strategy, and she had the strategy on how to win the game the way it was played before down pat. There were no rules for the new intention; the rules of the game remained the same.

There was a little confusion as we focused on playing the cards in a way that best served the other players. The old strategy had to go out the window! Where the focus had been on the "most important card" being the one on top your stack and playing all the cards possible to get that card off the top of the stack, that stack now actually became a nuisance. That card sometimes blocked another player's chance to play their card, which blocked them from winning.

Some gambling was attempted as well. Do I play all the cards in my hand so I can get another five cards that may help the other players win, even if playing all the cards in my hand blocked someone else's play? This consideration was played out in different ways by the different players. No judgment, just see what happens.

The game took at least twice as long as the previous games. An interesting result was that at the end, everyone had just a couple cards left in their stack. Playing the old way, the remaining stack counts would often be very unbalanced - one player may actually have most their cards left!

Once the confusion was gone, once everyone let go of how to do it right, the feel of the game was awesome! It felt good, really good.

So, how can we apply this new intention to other games? Well, maybe some of you already play this way, so it's not so new. How can we apply this intention to the game of life? What are the rules and how do we do it right? It really doesn't matter about the rules or doing it right. What became obvious in the new-and-improved Skip-Bo game was that if you held the intention for everyone to win, you knew what to do.

When everyone wins, well EVERYONE wins! When we help everyone be successful, it just makes sense (well, now it's much clearer to me - gotta love visuals!) that we, too, achieve success. We Are One, after all, don'tcha know:)

Are you ready to play a new game, use a new strategy? Just imagine if we were all out to help everyone else win - what a game of life that would be! I wanna play! I wanna play!

Happy Holidays to everyone! Come on over - we'll play some cards!

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

The Drama Demon


Drama. We all get sucked into it at times if we aren’t awake and aware. I refer to awake and aware as being in my right mind. I am totally guilty of being asleep at the wheel, jerking awake to look around and say “What the hell just happened? How long have I been here?”


What gets me is that I know better. I have practiced standing in that neutral space, separating the facts from the stories and blocking the energies shot in my direction. Still, sometimes I’m caught unaware. I am grateful for the years of practice that help me “wake up!” much sooner than later.


This ever happen to you? You get wrapped up in your perceptions, or someone else’s perceptions, making up stories and proclaiming what is right and what is wrong - rather loudly! Then you proceed to bring others into your drama, convincing them that you are right and justice must be served! Well, maybe not to that extreme. Maybe you just start feeling bad, your vibration takes a dive, and you just want to feel better.


Is it possible to avoid the Drama Demon? Yes. Let me give you a couple examples.


First, take a step back. Now, identify what is fact from the parts that are made up. By fact, I mean, those things that are tangible, touchable, etc. As in “these words were said.” Leave out all the emotion. Now, the rest is all perception. We give meaning to the “words said” (we fill in the blanks) and draw from our past to make sense of what we just heard. Don’t get me wrong, our past serves us well, unless it doesn’t. Our past experiences can keep us safe and help us from making “the same mistake.” But sometimes our past remembrances can cause us to assign an experience that just does not apply in every situation.


Second, ask yourself “what else can it be?” Again, we make up the stories and there are always lots of stories that be imagined in any situation. Try to get more facts. If this isn’t possible, stick to the story that works best for you. One that comes from love and helps you to feel good. Do not judge – discern.


A little practice and you may find you can avoid a lot of drama. Besides, no one likes having to say they made a mistake and have to make amends after playing with the Drama Demon. Been there, done that, too.