There I go dating
myself. This comes from an old TV
program called Laugh In. Judging, in
many personal growth arenas, is emphasized as a bad thing. Well, most good trainings would not use the
word bad, or the word good. It’s about
what works! And I agree.
There is no right or wrong. It’s about what works. Throughout this blog I will use good and bad
and right and wrong for the sake of clarity. Being judgmental is not bad and
wrong, unless it is.
This is usually referring to
our automatic responses based on what
we’ve decided to believe is right, wrong, good, bad, acceptable, offensive, pretty,
ugly, affordable, expensive, moral, ethical, valuable, worthwhile, worthless,
evil, deserving, safe, dangerous, etc.
As you take note of these
responses, these thoughts that pop into your head without your permission, you
see how they limit your experience of someone or something, not allowing for
new information to be brought forth.
You will resist this
awakening because your “judge” likes to be right. Your “judge” would actually have you believe
you are right than let you be happy. Human
beings will fight for their right to be right, sacrificing love and happiness,
prosperity, health, and peace of mind.
When you practice being
non-judgmental, you’ll acknowledge that you’ve been right about some things and
wrong about others. You’ll learn to
observe from an “it’s not bad and it’s not good, it just is” place. “It’s not
ugly, it’s just not my cup of tea.” “Someone’s
junk is another person’s treasure.”
We have given meaning to
everything throughout our lives. We are
meaning making machines! We have opinions
about politics, religion, marriage, raising children, money, sex, the
rights/wrongs/goods/bads/ likes/dislikes – just try and think of something you
don’t have an opinion about.
Now, some people have taken
non-judgmentality (I think I made this word up) a little too far. You may become a person with no opinion –
ever! You quit making decisions because
you don’t want it considered a judgment.
You become a fence-sitter.
Conversations with you become boring, even frustrating, because you
won’t take a stand, afraid you’ll be considered judgmental.
I have seen a personal growth
student stopped cold upon hearing an accusation that they are being judgmental. Like it is the very worst thing in the world
to be! What the student didn’t hear,
even though the teacher may have spoken it, is that judging is not wrong or bad
when it works – using discernment.
In order to use discernment,
you must be open to receiving all the information, that which you think you
already know and have an opinion about, and that which you don’t know. You must be discerning when buying a house or
a car, because you prefer not to end up in a fire trap or a lemon – am I
right? Be discerning picking out a
college, a career, a doctor, or a mate!
Be discerning about your health or your child’s daycare.
What we are talking about is
noticing the mind chatter of “da judge”
within you. The chatter is the automatic
thinking hatched from the beliefs you have.
This is core and the noticing is key in your growth. So just notice, and
be fascinated!
