Darn That Squirrel!

There is a milk shoot/box off my kitchen where the milkman used to deliver milk.  Yes, it's an old little house, but it has a huge backyard!  I have often looked out this shoot and watched the gray squirrels, black squirrels, rabbits, chipmunks, cardinals, blue jays and other birds, and the occasional racoon and skunk.  Many times there would be six to eight squirrels running and playing while a robin splashed in the bird bath and a chipmunk looked for ways to get into the house.  The male cardinal was a regular and the female cardinal kept to the shadows.  Whenever I saw the cardinal I told myself all is well, Spirit is with me.  My sign for myself, my personal affirmation.

A few weeks ago I noticed a little red squirrel had started coming around.  At first I was delighted.  But then I noticed "Red" chasing the other squirrels (twice its size) out of the yard!  I haven't seen the birds much and spot the rabbit rarely.  "Red" has taken over the yard!

Another phenomenon this summer:  Green pine cones were littering the yard!  Sticky with sap, we'd pick them up before letting JS, my grandson, out in the yard, knowing he'd grab them and then be covered in pine pitch.  We picked up hundreds!  Looking out the milk shoot last week, after cleaning up the yard, I noticed three cones down, all in one area.  As I watched, more fell.  And more fell.  I finally stuck my head out the shoot and looked way up to the top of the tree.  There was "Red" knocking the cones off!  Within minutes there were about forty cones on the ground and I couldn't help but laugh.

The question came to mind, "How and why did I attract this red squirrel into my life?"  As a believer that I create the experiences in my life with my beliefs, I often use this type of question to take note of what I'm up to, what I'm thinking, what is the vibration I am putting out there into the Universe.

Knowing that it often takes a little time for my creation to be made manifest, I took myself back into the past few weeks, months.  Studying the squirrel, it appeared to me that "Red" wanted the yard, now its home, all to itself.  Not too long ago I was, let's say, not comfortable in my own home.  People moved into my little house with me.  People I loved and cared for.  But I was having a hard time coping with the messiness, added chores I had assigned to myself, and mostly the lack of privacy.  I felt I had lost my sanctuary.

So I think "Red" showed up to mirror the vibration/energy I was creating as I figured out how to live in this new way.  But even before "Red" moved in, I had started to shift my thoughts and beliefs into ones that better matched what I preferred.  I found ways to ask for what I wanted in the home, created a space for myself for privacy and sanctuary, and appreciated the company of family and friends in my home.

Now I get to watch what unfolds in my backyard as my new thoughts and beliefs go out into the Universe.  Will "Red" leave, or make nice with the other animals and birds?  I'll keep watching out the milk shoot and keep you posted.  By the way, what's going on in your backyard (Life) that needs a closer look?

Unattached

A couple weekends ago I was visiting my Dad and found myself sitting with him and watching, of all things, a baseball game on TV.  I gave myself permission a long time ago to not put my energy and time into watching and following sports just so I could remember the names of players, statistics, and who-is-in-what-place for conversational purposes (mostly connected to meeting and talking with men).  I just am not that interested and prefer to put my attention elsewhere.

There is nothing wrong with sports and I understand it is a favorite pastime for many people.  Both my grandmothers were baseball fans and rarely missed a Tiger's game on TV.  I, myself, attended many baseball and hockey games just for the fun of it.

Anyway, watching the Tiger's game with Dad, I found I was thoroughly enjoying myself.  I didn't know the players, did notice some new protective gear they were wearing since I stopped paying attention, and did ask Dad a question or two about rules I had forgotten.  Fascinating!

It reminds me of a book I read last year, The Five Levels of Attachment.  In the book, Don Miguel Ruiz, Jr. explained the levels using sports as an example.  I could watch the baseball game, be pleasantly entertained, and sigh just a bit when the Tigers lost.  No attachment.

Some people are really into their sports and tend to identify to an extreme with their team of choice.  The very highest level of attachment is evident in their reaction to a team loss with the experience of deep anger, depression, even suicide.  And then there are those levels in-between.

Attachments can be detrimental to your health - body, mind and spirit.  Through personal growth classes, this is something I worked on and continue to look at diligently.  I'm talking about being attached to things, people, and beliefs.  Thinking I couldn't live without something or someone, that I would just die without them or it, was a miserable way to live.  I saw the truth in this and had to let go of attachments - well, maybe not all, I am a work in progress after all.

I do prefer to keep things around that make my life easier.  Makeup mirror, toothbrush, stove and refrigerator, running water...  And I prefer to keep my family and friends close, for as long as possible.  But I am not attached, though this may sound cold and heartless to some. 

How attached are you to your beliefs? Opinions? Points of view?  Ideas?  It's worth a look into identifying the attachments that are limiting and denying you the life you want to create.  Imagine living without the cords that bind, free to fly, open in mind and heart.

Success and Duality

Success.  It seems a rather ambiguous term to me.  I looked both “success” and “ambiguous” up in the dictionary.  Ambiguous means having two or more meanings.  Success is having a favorable outcome or result.  The Higher Self Bookstore has succeeded in keeping its doors open throughout the economic downslide as well as the most recent unfavorable weather that kept lots of people at home.

Success can also mean the gaining of wealth, fame, etc.  I cannot claim success by that definition.  Like most things, the meaning of what is gets to be quite personal. 

One of my favorite quotes from Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch is “There is something I don’t know here, the knowing of which can change everything!”  Some things I have learned recently (often kicking and screaming):

I am powerful and powerless at the same time.

I am wealthy and yet have no money, at the same time.

My surrender does not allow for doing nothing.

I am a success and a failure at the same time.

I can be very focused and quite blind at the same time.

Oh, there’s more, but you can get the picture.  Duality Reality! Depending on where I put my attention is the reality I experience in that moment.  That and there is where I make a choice.

Like I said, the Higher Self Bookstore has been very successful in keeping the doors open to serve you, either with the books and products you desire or with services to counsel and assist you in your personal and spiritual growth.  Even as a place just to breathe, find some peace, maybe even a hug, a smile, a laugh.

What we haven’t been successful in is being able to expand our services to you.  To keep the latest and greatest books and products on the shelves, fulfill special orders timely, or create an online store for our out-of-town or snowed in customers.  Our computer is antiquated, as is our web site. The store itself could use new carpeting, the walls painted, etc.  We haven’t failed – we just haven’t succeeded in those goals yet!

There are the facts to consider, but we get to choose the meaning of how those facts affect our reality.  We are all a success!  That’s how I see it.  I look forward to serving you successfully today, tomorrow, and in the years to come!  How I serve and where I serve may be different, but I will never fail in my commitment to make a difference.

New Year Happy?

Happy New Year!  I’m sure you are expecting lots of positive clichés, so here they are:  It’s a time of new beginnings!  Out with the old, in with the new!  Make those resolutions and stick to ‘em!  The past is past, it’s a new day, a new year!  Create a ‘Dream Board’ for 2014!  What do you want to manifest this year?!

Okay, now that that’s done, I’m going to share a little of my reality.  The thought of adding anything new to my plate is simply exhausting.  What I really want for 2014 for myself is some happy endings.  It’s been a year of extremes.  Some very, very dark as well as some very, very bright and joyful.

The more I ponder “new beginnings”, the more the “unfinished business” comes to the forefront of my mind.  I’m finding it impossible to step into the delight of creating something new in my reality.  This is quite puzzling, but I’m starting to get a glimmer into how I can make this work for me.  I want the delight!

What I can do, and will do, is take a fresh, new look at what is in my reality right now.  Just maybe, I can “begin” again, create something “new” out of what can become old.  I can create my own happy endings and make room for some new possibilities.

I’m remembering that I am at choice in my labeling and how I believe the story will play out.  I decide what is old and what’s new.  I decide what is ‘an ending’ and what is a beginning.  I decide what is dark and what is light.

I’m deciding to have a marvelous, prosperous, joyful, peace-filled 2014.  What are you deciding?

Ah, I feel better.  I hope you do, too!  Thank you for letting me share, for letting me be real with you.  May all you desire manifest at great speed in the New Year, 2014.

The Baking Meditation

As a fundraiser for Kafi, our Tarot Reader Extraordinaire, I decided to have a bake sale.  I don't know how
to do a spaghetti dinner or pancake breakfast, but I do bake and know how to follow a recipe.  The Village Market in Elk Rapids donated ingredients, and my baking "meditation" started last Saturday.

Now, I can meditate sitting, being quiet, and I like it very much.  But I often find that a "doing" meditation gets me the best results when I am looking for answers.  Walking, washing dishes, cleaning house, knitting - the routine lets me be in the present moment and allows my mind to be still.  I must be intentional with this, otherwise I'd just be thinking, thinking, thinking...

I did get some insights as I continued to bake for six days straight - whenever I wasn't at the Higher Self Bookstore.  One that, to me, was huge had to do with my weight-loss hitting a plateau.  I realized that I was holding a belief that if I lost any more weight I'd have nothing to wear! Aha!

So I changed that belief, because it wasn't true - number one.  I also had to give myself permission to shop and spend some money on clothes.  It's okay!  Along with a little hypnosis tweaking, the scale is on the move down once again. I'm a firm believer that what one believes is what one experiences in their reality.  Identify the belief - if it is not working in getting what you want, change it.  If you need help with this, let me know.

The Bake Sale starts today, August 2, and goes until it's all gone.  If you happen to miss it, I have some ingredients left and would be happy to fill an order.  Kafi should be back to the store soon - until she does we are also selling gift certificates for sessions with her at a discounted price.

Meditation doesn't have to be hard, and less thinking gives you a chance to hear what the heart, and Source, has to say. 

The Higher Self Bookstore and my family have been my biggest priority and my most important relationships

these past few years.  My beliefs about what it looks like to be caretaker of the store, mother to my daughter, grandmother to my grandson have directed my decisions, my commitments, my actions - as well as my reactions emotionally.  I often forgot to put myself on the list of priorities so it's no wonder that my experiences in these relationships were not always what I'd call fulfilling - not entirely.

As in all relationships, there are slow times, bumpy times, boring times, and times of miscommunication and misunderstandings.  Sometimes I felt cheated, betrayed, and unloved by what I gave all my love to.  Well, if I'm not loving me, making me a priority, what else can I expect?  I know from experience that when I am loving me, appreciating me, respecting me, being loyal to me, never cheating on me - my reality is quite different.

My daughter is off on her own raising her son and doing just fine without me, though she may never say she didn't "need" me because that's how she expresses her love.  And, I've come to realize that no matter how much I try to control what happens in the store, it's just not always loving me back the way I want to be loved - and this is really out of my control.  It does it's best but I think it is trying to tell me that it cannot be the "be all, end all" of my life.  Maybe I'm trying to suffocate it - loving it and trying to make it do what I want it to do so I can be happy and fulfilled.  This relationship is not in balance!

So I signed up on a couple of online dating sites.  I've been "married" to the above mentioned relationships for far too long.  I was "chatting" with one gentleman from California and said "You're in California, I'm in Northern Michigan.  How do you figure?" (as in, how do we get to know each other).  His reply, "LOL. Leave it to me."

Wow!  Really?  Did someone just say to me that I am not the one this time to figure it out, make a plan, make it happen, make all the decisions, take all the action....  I must be dreaming.  It's not a bad thing to be independent, self-sufficient, and responsible, but it can be depleting, exhausting, depressing and even hardening to believe I have to do it all, all the time. After all, even if help is offered they don't truly mean it and I'm still responsible so I might as well do it myself.  Holy Cow, Ricki - lighten up!

I say I've surrendered those things I can't control to All That Is, but I don't think I truly understood what that meant.  No, I didn't surrender into hopelessness - but I didn't lay it all in the hands of the Creator, either.  "Leave it to me."  That's what I needed to hear.  That is what true surrender is all about.

Whether I ever meet this gentleman or not, I will be forever grateful for his gift of those words.  They have brought clarity to what I want to experience in my relationship with a partner, and in my relationship with God.

A Great Experiment

The last couple days I have been contemplating the meanings of the words "punishment" and "consequence".  How this all came about was a recent debate - I said they are not the same thing, someone else saying they are the same thing. Well, in a way they are the same - according to the dictionary. But they are also different - and in a very powerful way!

What became clear to me was how certain words can be empowering, dis-empowering, or neutral.  It is my past experiences and indoctrinations, how I was raised and how the words were introduced and re-enforced to me that trigger my negative or positive (or neutral) responses.

For instance:  It's cold outside.  Is that true?  Here in Traverse City someone may believe 30 degrees is cold.  Someone in Alaska may think the opposite. "I'm cold" is really a personal experience. "I'm freezing!  I can't stand it! This is awful!"  - now this person has assigned very strong beliefs about what it is to be cold and is emotionally connected to those beliefs.

I'm cold.  It is what it is.  I will go inside or get another sweater. Or - yes, a break from the hot flashes. Mm.  You see, we give meaning to what we perceive our reality to be at the time.  The influences during our childhood can often be reflected in our experience of today.

A small child witnessing Mom freaking out about how cold it is outside can leave a lasting impression.  When the child is older and encouraged to go outside to play, child freaks out about how cold it is outside and refuses. 

You understand, of course, that I am not talking about the weather.  Words are one thing - the energy behind them, the inflections, negative or positive connotations, can have just as much power.  A mother could use the word consequence instead of punishment, but if she always associates it with pain and suffering that will be how the child incorporates that word into its experience!

This is how we learn as we grow and how we determine how we see the world.  What do you believe?  Pay attention to how you react - or not react - to words, labels, etc.  Notice how others react and ask yourself "What would a person have to believe to react that way?"  Now this is a Great Experiment!  Let me know how it goes!

Reading From a Different Perspective

I have a confession to make.  I'm a Stephen King fan.  When he puts out a new book, all the books around me get pushed to the side while I read his latest creation.  People ask, "how can you read Stephen King? You - the owner of the Higher Self Bookstore? He writes horror!"  "He's a genius," I say.  I do admire his genius and imagination.  Over the years I've come to believe his writing is "guided." 

For the past several months I've had to urge to re-read his Dark Tower series.  It took him 20 years to write, the last published in 2006.  I did give in to the "push" and began the series over again.  I have about 50 pages left to read of book seven.

It's like reading a whole different story.  I think it's because my perceptions about a lot of things have changed over the years, and because I know more, have learned more, and have changed my beliefs about - oh, so much!  Like what?  Well, about time, time overlapping, other worlds, intuition, good and bad, good and evil, spiritual quests, creating our own reality, writing our own scripts, living in the illusion of our creation and allowance, perception and judgment, portals, magic.  It's all in there - and more.

This is a story about good vs. evil, but a lot of what occurs just is what it is.  It's Stephen King's story, as well as the story of the characters in it. At one point, the characters even had to go into Stephen King's world to save his life so that he could continue writing the story and they could go on to save the world(s).  They knew they existed because Mr. King created them.  It didn't change their mission or their quest. Well, aren't we writing our own stories, creating our own reality, and placing characters in it?  Of course we are!  

If you put me in your story (and I am if you are reading this), do I know if I am a villain or a hero in your story?  Maybe, maybe not.  Does it change how I live my life in the story I am creating with you in it?  Maybe, maybe not. In other words, if you cast me as the enemy in your life (reality), you will write my part (perceive me) doing evil things. In my story, I may not be writing my part (perceive me) as evil whatsoever.  If I realized you perceive me as the enemy, will I change my story so that you think better of me somehow?  Well, I guess that depends on how important a character I have cast you in my story.  I suppose I could do a re-write if I "want" to.

I am not advising you go read works by Stephen King.  I don't sell Stephen King at the Higher Self.  I have many books to enlighten, educate, and awaken that I can point you to. My point is how my perception of the story changed once I had acquired more knowledge, had become open to other possibilities, and have given up the desire to label everything right or wrong, good or evil, black or white.  It makes me curious about re-reading other books with my "new" viewpoint. 

God is in everything - so I've been told and choose to believe.  God is in Stephen King, his books, in you, in the dark as well as the light; if we have eyes to see.  Do you have eyes to see?  Can you read with an openness, from a place of possibilities?  Do not condemn that which you do not understand.  Can you be with it all and come out on the other side enriched, expanded, and empowered?

Wake Up - I'm Dreaming!

A few mornings ago, I was attempting to sleep in since I didn't have to open the Higher Self Bookstore that day. Kafi was scheduled to work all day and I actually had the option of going in or working at home. Or playing - now there's a concept!

My bladder was protesting, but I stayed in the bad, drifting in and out, tossing and turning a little. This is what I remember. A picture showed up in my dream, a scene - a vision. As a story followed, I realized that I was the one making up the story! I was directing and choreographing what came next, scene after scene. That realization is what woke me up. I believe I sat up on the bed with my mouth open, in awe and wonder.

I was creating my dream in a dream. I became aware that I was creating a dream in a dream, a story with characters and scenery and conversation. So now I ponder - how can I create my reality the way I created the dream? Is my reality one that I have directed and choreographed and I am just not aware?

Of course, I have watched The Secret, read more books, attended workshops and set up routines of meditation, visualization, journaling, and affirmations. Then life happens and I get busy handling and coping. Do I allow this because the reality I prefer just doesn't seem to appear as quickly as I want? Probably.

As I learn (by paying attention, noticing, becoming aware, mostly), missing pieces come to me, like in this dream. I recall the feeling of it, of being in a place of no interruptions, no distractions, the easy flow of it. Now I am ready to give it another go.

Exactly how to proceed is not clear, but I have a desire to meditate again. To take that meditation and visualization into my everyday wide awake life. There's a feeling of urgency about it. Once I'm aware it is easier to remember and keep it in the present moment.

Now you are aware as well. Join me in this experiment? Great, let's keep in touch. May our dreams and realities meet in peace and joy.