Have You Ever Been Mellow...On A Treadmill?

The song has been playing in my head the past few days.  When I anticipate writing this blog at this time of the month, I pay closer attention to the voices in my head - thanks, Olivia!  I'm thinking this song is here because for the past few months, I've been wanting to write about being stuck on a treadmill - that's the word that keeps coming up for me, sad to say.

Have I Ever Been Mellow?  Well, of course!  From time to time, here and there, fleetingly, and, it's been a while.  Hmm.  Mellow for me means, calm and peaceful, quietly joyous. What stops me?  I don't even think I hold that as an intention these days.  I'm going to have to write Olivia Newton John a thank you card for reminding me what's been missing.

Now, I haven't been totally clueless.  Feeling stuck in the midst of an seemingly endless to-do list has brought about the vision of a hamster on a treadmill.  The thing is, I know better.  I just can't get off of it!  Maybe I'm afraid that if I do, the wheel would stop spinning and I wouldn't have fulfilled my promises to you, and you, and me.  You have expectations of me - keep the doors open, the shelves stocked, the floors clean, the events promoted, etc., etc. - and I love meeting those expectations!  I really do!

You've never been in this place, right?  You have?!?  Tell me, how did you get to be mellow on the treadmill?  Oh, I see.  You made time.  You made it important to be mellow, to meditate, to sit and breath, to have fun, to make the doing of the to-do list fascinating, a game.  It is all a game, isn't it?

Okay, I'm going to do it!  I'm going to change the channel on my "reality TV" and schedule only programs that lift my spirit, make me laugh, feed my soul, and air according to my own time schedule!  Thanks for the awesome advice!  I knew I could count on you!

There's a Fine Line

As you know, there is sometimes a very fine line between living in your day consciously or unconsciously, intentionally or unintentionally. When I am teaching, one word you'll hear me say repeatedly is "notice." When you "notice" what the thoughts are going through your head, you bring yourself back to a conscious state and can ask yourself the (sometimes hard) questions, like: Why am I thinking that? What's really going on with me? Is it true?

I'm an observer, and a darn good one. There was a time in my life, though, that being an unconscious observer was how I avoided really living. I spent much of my time watching others do, play, work, and grow. I took notes, but never really jumped into the game. It was safer to sit back as a spectator and just do what absolutely had to be done, that which was required of me. I kept my emotions in check, and spoke little (unless I was with friends and felt safe - but even then....).

Now that I am aware of what I was up to I can check in with myself, notice, if I am repeating an unconscious way of being, or if I am being an observer intentionally. Like I said, I am a very good conscious observer. I can view what's going on around me, assessing what is and isn't, and deciding what needs to be done - without letting my emotions take over.

The unconscious observer can get very good at burying, hiding, and denying feelings, often appearing cold, distant, and unemotional. The conscious observer may appear exactly the same way. The difference is that the conscious observer recognizes and acknowledges their feelings and emotions, they just don't let them rule!

There are so many changes going on, many of which I do not prefer! Sudden illnesses, deaths, and losses, in my own family and around the world. I find it necessary to "notice" and check in on myself several times a day. It's what I've practiced - and I'm so glad I did. I want to be fully aware, fully conscious, Fully feeling, and fully intentional. I can't do that asleep, sleep-walking through my days. There's a fine line and I want to be on the intentional side of it!

There is a fine line between observing life as it passes you by and being awake to life with all its emotions. There's a fine line between being judgemental and using discernment, between performing for approval and behaving according to agreed upon expectations, between escaping into daydreams and consciously deciding where to put your attention, between being a know-it-all and being the best that you can be. And finally, being an exception to the rule because you feel you must and being an exceptional human being.

So notice! Write this word on sticky notes and place them...everywhere! Little reminders to be awake and intentional in your thinking and your actions. Practice. Get yourself a wake-up buddy! Life is so much better with eyes open...and focused!

Integrity and Following the Rules

Rules were created to establish order, am I right? Without rules - chaos! If a rule, or law, no longer supports order then steps should be taken to change or cancel it. However, until that is established, the rule should still be followed. You know, status quo and all that.

I have a confession to make - I'm a rule follower. At the same time, I'm the first one to declare, "Challenge Authority!" I have not been practicing what I preach, and I am waking up to the fact that the rules are just not keeping up with the fast-paced changes that are occurring.

Somehow, I had incorporated "following the rules" into my interpretation of integrity, and a woman of integrity is who I have chosen to "Be." By this, what I mean is, I stand by my word. If I say it, I will do it. My word is my bond, you can count on me. Over the years, I have been more careful with my "word" and this practice has resulted in more balance in my life, not over committing my time, etc.

Of course, there have been times when I had to change my priorities and change my word. As an example, just in the last 24 hours, I agonized about traveling home today as I had said I would. A blizzard has just passed through this region and it is still snowing. I know I could get on the road and make it back to Traverse City, Michigan, today - driving slowly, and carefully, and watchfully of other drivers on the snow-covered, icy-in-places, I-75 North. Tomorrow it will be sunny. One would think this would be an easy decision, but for me it was not.

I recognize that I have become attached to this identity, a woman of integrity. I follow the rules, even to the detriment of my well-being, the well-being of my family, and of my business. Some of the agreements I entered into years ago did not take into account the changes that have occurred, neither by me or the authority I gave my power away to. The authority (the companies and people I gave my word to, either verbal or under contract) insist I keep my word. What to do?

First, I detach from the unfair limitation I placed on myself - the strictly defined and restricting label of integrity = rule follower. Second, I will assess what the truth is. What was true then is not always true today, so I will not proceed blindly into this is the way it's always been done so do your duty or else. Third, I willingly step out of the box (in this case the box is about always following the rules) and see just what can be done for the highest good of all with harm to none (which includes me!)

It amazes me that it always come down to the same lesson no matter the challenge, the issue, or the situation: Notice, awaken, detach (let go), step out of the box, and let the how show up as I take action.

It's okay to change my rules when the game has changed. It's okay to keep my word and I will, and I will allow for amendments and addendums - for the highest good of all (me included).

Be Happy - Write It Down!

I'm sure there is a lot of blogging going on about the New Year and resolutions and setting goals. Well, I have just one recommendation for you. Make Being Happy your goal. Then write it down - everywhere!

You are saying, "Silly Ricki, of course being happy is my goal! It's always my goal! That's the purpose of being human, to be happy."

Ah, I say, but do you remember? Do you wake up each and every morning and say to yourself, "Today I will Be Happy!" I bet you don't. I know, because I don't. And you are me and I am you and so on and so on.

This past year has presented many challenges and lessens, and I am not alone. There were at least two months straight when I forgot that being happy was my mission. It wasn't written down anywhere and I was so immersed in the drama, in the pit, that I'm not even sure if I would have seen a smiley face sticker I would have recognized it. But I might have.

So here's my plan, and I am Happy to share it with you. I will write Be Happy as my Number One goal for 2011. I will outline an emergency plan for getting Happy when stuff happens, such as: Watch a comedy (America's Funniest Home Videos is my favorite for making myself laugh), Dance like nobody's watching, Take a walk and Big Smile everyone I meet, and Make funny faces in the mirror.

Then, I am going to write "Be Happy" on every page of every calendar and day planner and every To Do List. I'm going to write "Be Happy" on post-its and place them all over the house and in my office at the Higher Self Bookstore. In the bathroom, I'll stick a note on the mirror that says "How Ya Doing, Sweetie?" (That one always makes me smile!)

Okay, I hear you, and I know that some days it just feels too hard. Then the goal that day will be to feel better. Just better. Then work up to feeling pretty good. Draw a smiley face on your hand - next thing you know your face is smiley, too!

Just imagine if everyone took on the goal/mission/purpose of Be Happy. What a way to serve humanity! You know that when you are around Happy people it is hard to resist being Happy, too. Get Happy, Be Happy, then go out and Happy-Up the World! What can possibly be better than that?