Have You Ever Been Mellow...On A Treadmill?

The song has been playing in my head the past few days.  When I anticipate writing this blog at this time of the month, I pay closer attention to the voices in my head - thanks, Olivia!  I'm thinking this song is here because for the past few months, I've been wanting to write about being stuck on a treadmill - that's the word that keeps coming up for me, sad to say.

Have I Ever Been Mellow?  Well, of course!  From time to time, here and there, fleetingly, and, it's been a while.  Hmm.  Mellow for me means, calm and peaceful, quietly joyous. What stops me?  I don't even think I hold that as an intention these days.  I'm going to have to write Olivia Newton John a thank you card for reminding me what's been missing.

Now, I haven't been totally clueless.  Feeling stuck in the midst of an seemingly endless to-do list has brought about the vision of a hamster on a treadmill.  The thing is, I know better.  I just can't get off of it!  Maybe I'm afraid that if I do, the wheel would stop spinning and I wouldn't have fulfilled my promises to you, and you, and me.  You have expectations of me - keep the doors open, the shelves stocked, the floors clean, the events promoted, etc., etc. - and I love meeting those expectations!  I really do!

You've never been in this place, right?  You have?!?  Tell me, how did you get to be mellow on the treadmill?  Oh, I see.  You made time.  You made it important to be mellow, to meditate, to sit and breath, to have fun, to make the doing of the to-do list fascinating, a game.  It is all a game, isn't it?

Okay, I'm going to do it!  I'm going to change the channel on my "reality TV" and schedule only programs that lift my spirit, make me laugh, feed my soul, and air according to my own time schedule!  Thanks for the awesome advice!  I knew I could count on you!

Integrity and Following the Rules

Rules were created to establish order, am I right? Without rules - chaos! If a rule, or law, no longer supports order then steps should be taken to change or cancel it. However, until that is established, the rule should still be followed. You know, status quo and all that.

I have a confession to make - I'm a rule follower. At the same time, I'm the first one to declare, "Challenge Authority!" I have not been practicing what I preach, and I am waking up to the fact that the rules are just not keeping up with the fast-paced changes that are occurring.

Somehow, I had incorporated "following the rules" into my interpretation of integrity, and a woman of integrity is who I have chosen to "Be." By this, what I mean is, I stand by my word. If I say it, I will do it. My word is my bond, you can count on me. Over the years, I have been more careful with my "word" and this practice has resulted in more balance in my life, not over committing my time, etc.

Of course, there have been times when I had to change my priorities and change my word. As an example, just in the last 24 hours, I agonized about traveling home today as I had said I would. A blizzard has just passed through this region and it is still snowing. I know I could get on the road and make it back to Traverse City, Michigan, today - driving slowly, and carefully, and watchfully of other drivers on the snow-covered, icy-in-places, I-75 North. Tomorrow it will be sunny. One would think this would be an easy decision, but for me it was not.

I recognize that I have become attached to this identity, a woman of integrity. I follow the rules, even to the detriment of my well-being, the well-being of my family, and of my business. Some of the agreements I entered into years ago did not take into account the changes that have occurred, neither by me or the authority I gave my power away to. The authority (the companies and people I gave my word to, either verbal or under contract) insist I keep my word. What to do?

First, I detach from the unfair limitation I placed on myself - the strictly defined and restricting label of integrity = rule follower. Second, I will assess what the truth is. What was true then is not always true today, so I will not proceed blindly into this is the way it's always been done so do your duty or else. Third, I willingly step out of the box (in this case the box is about always following the rules) and see just what can be done for the highest good of all with harm to none (which includes me!)

It amazes me that it always come down to the same lesson no matter the challenge, the issue, or the situation: Notice, awaken, detach (let go), step out of the box, and let the how show up as I take action.

It's okay to change my rules when the game has changed. It's okay to keep my word and I will, and I will allow for amendments and addendums - for the highest good of all (me included).