I stepped in gum in the parking lot. It was the second time this summer. Instead of reflecting on the esoteric symbolism of these events in my life, my thought was immediate: "I know your mama taught you better than this!" I mean, really - what mother would teach her child to spit out gum in a parking lot?
It reminded me of a time, years ago, when I lived in Port Huron, Michigan, on my way north to a destination I can't recall. I was in the car behind a convertible with two young men sitting in it. As we were waiting for the light to change, the passenger dude reached out and dropped a large bag of Burger King waste on the ground! I had the opportunity to pull up next to him and said, "I know your mama taught you better than that!" He laughed, said something about mothers, and they drove on. We were heading in the same direction and I followed them for miles, strategizing how I would teach them a lesson (I didn't know about karma then).
They eventually pulled into a party store/gas station. Here was my chance! I would go dump one of the trash cans right into their convertible! Yes, that would teach'em!
No, I chickened out. My fear of legal repercussions, or respect for convertibles, won out but I have regretted not taking that action ever since.
Did their mothers not teach them about littering? Of course they did! As did the schools and anyone else who had their attention for a split second. Then why do we so quickly want to blame a parent for a person's misbehavior? More importantly, why do we blame ourselves as parents for the misbehavior of our own children?
If I recall correctly, I did teach my child to only spit gum into a waste receptacle (or my hand) and not to litter, and explained that it was inconsiderate to others and the environment. She did it anyway and reaped my wrath if I happened to catch her at it). Did she stop doing these things through fear of my anger? Or, did she step in gum and have an AHA moment? I can't know for sure.
I know I am not alone in my private thoughts as a mother: Did I do it right? Did I do it wrong? Could I have done it differently? The answer will always be yes, so I don't waste as much time on these particular meditations as I used to. I did my best, and I do better all the time. The kid will truly learn her lessons her way, no matter how much I'd like it to be my way.
So, to the gum-spitters, because I love you, "May you step in gum until you don't anymore."
It reminded me of a time, years ago, when I lived in Port Huron, Michigan, on my way north to a destination I can't recall. I was in the car behind a convertible with two young men sitting in it. As we were waiting for the light to change, the passenger dude reached out and dropped a large bag of Burger King waste on the ground! I had the opportunity to pull up next to him and said, "I know your mama taught you better than that!" He laughed, said something about mothers, and they drove on. We were heading in the same direction and I followed them for miles, strategizing how I would teach them a lesson (I didn't know about karma then).
They eventually pulled into a party store/gas station. Here was my chance! I would go dump one of the trash cans right into their convertible! Yes, that would teach'em!
No, I chickened out. My fear of legal repercussions, or respect for convertibles, won out but I have regretted not taking that action ever since.
Did their mothers not teach them about littering? Of course they did! As did the schools and anyone else who had their attention for a split second. Then why do we so quickly want to blame a parent for a person's misbehavior? More importantly, why do we blame ourselves as parents for the misbehavior of our own children?
If I recall correctly, I did teach my child to only spit gum into a waste receptacle (or my hand) and not to litter, and explained that it was inconsiderate to others and the environment. She did it anyway and reaped my wrath if I happened to catch her at it). Did she stop doing these things through fear of my anger? Or, did she step in gum and have an AHA moment? I can't know for sure.
I know I am not alone in my private thoughts as a mother: Did I do it right? Did I do it wrong? Could I have done it differently? The answer will always be yes, so I don't waste as much time on these particular meditations as I used to. I did my best, and I do better all the time. The kid will truly learn her lessons her way, no matter how much I'd like it to be my way.
So, to the gum-spitters, because I love you, "May you step in gum until you don't anymore."
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