The Law of Attraction is alive and well. Of course, it always was, always is, and always will be, whether we believe in the Laws of the Universe or not. "The Secret" introduced many to these Laws and some of us became conscious of how to use those Laws, and some of us played with it a bit then said "Phooey!"
I am a firm believer in the Laws, I just tend to get lazy, or disappointed when what I want doesn't show up right away - maybe discouraged is a better word. This is the problem with most of us, I think, in manifesting what we desire. Patience.
When you visit the Higher Self Bookstore, you will notice that we do everything by hand. Book titles are written down on a yellow pad at time of sale, we search 3X5 cards to see if a book is in stock, we are still handwriting gift certificates, and there is a standard cash register. I wanted to offer more to my customers.
I wanted a POS system. POS stands for Point of Sale. With a point of sale we could scan products for faster check out, record your purchases for loyalty programs, issue gift cards, and generate reports and orders and such to get me out of the office and visiting with you out in the store! And so much more!
In 2009, I almost committed to the purchase of a POS. Luckily, my bookkeeper stopped me. We really (really!) couldn't afford it. I still wanted one, and for the next four years I desired, wished, wanted one. I could even whip up the excitement the owning of one would have for me.
But this is only part of the Law of Attraction equation. What I was missing was action. I had in my head an already knowing of how much it cost and that it was out of my reach. Over the last month I finally started working on a business plan - something I didn't really think I needed because I had it all in my head and why put it on paper for others to read? Please list this under denial, laziness, and procrastination.
Writing about my mission was easy. Coming up with the numbers, not so much. As I took action and started getting new quotes for POS systems, as well as new website, online store costs, etc., it actually felt good to know, really know, so I could continue to take steps from there. It included talking to actual people, too, instead of just the voice in my head. People who knew other people who were just waiting for me. Just waiting.
So, the reason for this topic this month is - Law of Attraction works when you work it! I'm so excited I've been jumping up and down all day! The Higher Self is getting a POS system! Affordable and awesome! Just wait until you see all we will be able to offer you! I can hardly wait!
I think the Universe was waiting around to see if I was serious. That is where the action part is so important. Well, just as important as the desire and the feeling - you gotta give it all! Wishin' and a-hopin' and thinkin' ain't gonna work - unless it does but those cases are rare.
Speaking of manifesting, there's a class here on January 11th on the Law of Attraction, offering you tools to make your desires a reality. The tools won't do the work it for you, of course.
Wishing you all that you desire, this holiday season and all the days of your life!
Tuesday, December 3, 2013
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
Tis the Season - The Truth About It
Tis the Season of Holidays. This week we take down the Halloween decorations and spruce up with fall colors and symbols of the harvest in preparation for Thanksgiving. Already there are Christmas decorations, as well as Christmas music, in many of the stores (not at the Higher Self Bookstore)!
We take a moment, sometimes a very short moment, to honor
and contemplate the meaning of the season and the holiday. Too often it is short-lived and we are
distracted by the list of things to do that we’ve made for ourselves. Busy, busy, busy.
I find myself taking on the responsibility of making sure those
around me can be joyous, peaceful, comfortable and well fed, imaging I’m the
only one who can do it. I’m the only one
who knows that my holiday company can only feel these things I desire for them
if I deep clean, wash the glassware to a sparkle, plan the menu, shop for the
best deals so there’s money available for some special treats, and coordinate
my dates and times around everyone else so there is no stress and all can
come and experience the joy and comfort I have prepared for them.
Am I listening to myself?
How arrogant to think only I know what will make you happy! As I make myself crazy, you are sitting back
without a clue as to what has gotten into me! I’m
guessing I am not the only one who puts themselves in this position.
I know it is “I” who feels more comfortable if the glasses
sparkle. It is “I” who feels good being
able to give special gifts. I am the one
who enjoys cleaning and cooking for company.
Yep, it's all about me. Unless, of course, it isn't. Truth be said, when I remember that these things are not a “have to”,
that I actually do it for the joy of it, this hostess is not crazy and nicer to
be around.
I invite you to join me in doing it a little differently
this year. If doing a thing does not
bring you joy, consider dropping it from your list or finding someone else to
do it, someone who does find joy in it. Dig for the truth of it: the preparations and the gift giving, do I
really have to or do I want to.
Make those moments of honor and contemplation stretch out
longer, maybe do a little research to share with your holiday companions. Create an environment of joy and peace, from
the inside out. Being joy and peace
invites those around you to Be the same.
Breathe! Make it
fun! Give the gift of peace, joy, and
love – yours!
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Wednesday, October 2, 2013
Awesome!
Sedona, Arizona.
Oh, my! I was in “awe” the whole
week I was there. It was breathtaking,
relaxing, My eyes feasted and
every cell in my body memorized the view as well as the feeling. And I remembered…
rejuvenating, peaceful, inspiring, calming – the mountains, the
mesas, the red rock.
I remembered that this feeling always happens when I’m in
mountains and water at the same time, this rejuvenation. I also remembered that I can bring this
feeling back, through visualization.
Sedona may be the most beautiful place I’ve seen so far, but
I do remember other beautiful, awe-inspiring places I’ve seen in my
lifetime. These mind-pictures are in me
forever, as well as the feeling, deep in my subconscious, in my soul.
There is a reason Law of Attraction teachers/authors advise
you to create vision boards, to go sit in the car you desire, to stamp that
bill “paid” and put it where you can see it.
The “visual” helps ingrain it into your subconscious, and your
subconscious remembers everything. More
importantly, the subconscious remembers how you feel about what you are looking
at, touching, listening.
That feeling of awe is mine to experience anytime I
want. I just have to remember with my
head that it is there, inside me, always.
As I thought about this blog I also thought about the word “awesome”,
derived from the word, awe, of course.
Many of us are so used to hearing this word, hearing it overused, in
different tonalities, with different emotions behind the speaking of it – well,
it’s lost its “awe.” I, for one, an
determined to quit misusing this “awe”some word!
Some of you are wondering when I’m going to get to the part
about experiencing the vortexes in Sedona.
There are many, and yes, they are real.
It was Awesome! I highly
recommend you go if you get the chance.
In the meantime, find some pictures, sit quietly, and visualize – with feeling!
Thursday, August 29, 2013
Anybody Have a Suggestion?
I am now certified as a Lifestyle Engineer, approved to offer the Virtual Gastric Band Program. As I've
mentioned, I had this procedure (no surgery!) and continue to shrink! Because I am so impressed and thrilled, I wanted to be able to offer this amazing program to others. But, more on that later. What I learned during the training last week provided subject material for several blogs! One at a time...
Lifeskills was a personal growth training I took years ago that put me on a completely different path, one with an understanding that what I believe creates my life. Since then, I've participated in various workshops, trainings, not to mention the mountains of books I've read, that all seem to bring me full circle to - what I believe creates my life.
The message comes in many packages, using different language, but it all comes down to the same thing. I call it beliefs, ones I accepted to be true based on what I was told, what I read, what I felt, from the day I was born (maybe even before). Lifestyle Engineering uses hypnosis-based language, like suggestions. Indoctrination is a term used by another personal growth training. These indoctrinated beliefs or suggestions are what the sub-conscious uses to run your programs. It doesn't always make sense - it's the conscious mind that analyses. Problem is, the conscious mind can't remember all the beliefs/suggestions we decided were truth. That's the sub-conscious mind's job.
In Lifeskills, we used experiential exercises to help you remember and look at those beliefs you forgot. Then, tools were offered to "discreate" those beliefs. To fill the void, a new, workable belief was provided to create what you preferred. The question was asked, once, did we really "discreate" it? Yes and no. Your conscious mind eventually either forgot it, or, it became so unimportant you just never thought about it again.
During the training last week, I was to give a hypnosis I did not want to do. I didn't think I could do it and I was afraid,holding back tears. We had a break just before so I was walking around in circles asking myself "What is wrong with you?" A memory surfaced. In Lifeskills, I identified that I had a core belief that I was a dangerous person, and that if I did it wrong I could really hurt somebody. Oh, Yeah! I hadn't thought about that in years! My response to the memory: "I remember. I also remember that - YOU DON'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE!" Pop. It was gone. I returned to class confident.
Moral of the story, it doesn't matter if a belief was entirely dis-created. The good news is that we can convince the sub-conscious to take on a new belief/suggestion, one better to help us create the life we prefer. There are many ways, many modalities - one is perfect for you.
The experiences and knowledge I've acquired over these past years are a perfect fit for my new services as a Lifestyles Engineer. The power of suggestion can change your thinking, change your life. I know, you've heard this before. Probably cause it's true!
For more information about Lifestyle Engineering and the Virtual Gastric Band Procedure, contact me at the Higher Self Bookstore, (231) 941-5805
mentioned, I had this procedure (no surgery!) and continue to shrink! Because I am so impressed and thrilled, I wanted to be able to offer this amazing program to others. But, more on that later. What I learned during the training last week provided subject material for several blogs! One at a time...
Lifeskills was a personal growth training I took years ago that put me on a completely different path, one with an understanding that what I believe creates my life. Since then, I've participated in various workshops, trainings, not to mention the mountains of books I've read, that all seem to bring me full circle to - what I believe creates my life.
The message comes in many packages, using different language, but it all comes down to the same thing. I call it beliefs, ones I accepted to be true based on what I was told, what I read, what I felt, from the day I was born (maybe even before). Lifestyle Engineering uses hypnosis-based language, like suggestions. Indoctrination is a term used by another personal growth training. These indoctrinated beliefs or suggestions are what the sub-conscious uses to run your programs. It doesn't always make sense - it's the conscious mind that analyses. Problem is, the conscious mind can't remember all the beliefs/suggestions we decided were truth. That's the sub-conscious mind's job.
In Lifeskills, we used experiential exercises to help you remember and look at those beliefs you forgot. Then, tools were offered to "discreate" those beliefs. To fill the void, a new, workable belief was provided to create what you preferred. The question was asked, once, did we really "discreate" it? Yes and no. Your conscious mind eventually either forgot it, or, it became so unimportant you just never thought about it again.
During the training last week, I was to give a hypnosis I did not want to do. I didn't think I could do it and I was afraid,holding back tears. We had a break just before so I was walking around in circles asking myself "What is wrong with you?" A memory surfaced. In Lifeskills, I identified that I had a core belief that I was a dangerous person, and that if I did it wrong I could really hurt somebody. Oh, Yeah! I hadn't thought about that in years! My response to the memory: "I remember. I also remember that - YOU DON'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE!" Pop. It was gone. I returned to class confident.
Moral of the story, it doesn't matter if a belief was entirely dis-created. The good news is that we can convince the sub-conscious to take on a new belief/suggestion, one better to help us create the life we prefer. There are many ways, many modalities - one is perfect for you.
The experiences and knowledge I've acquired over these past years are a perfect fit for my new services as a Lifestyles Engineer. The power of suggestion can change your thinking, change your life. I know, you've heard this before. Probably cause it's true!
For more information about Lifestyle Engineering and the Virtual Gastric Band Procedure, contact me at the Higher Self Bookstore, (231) 941-5805
Friday, August 2, 2013
The Baking Meditation
As a fundraiser for Kafi, our Tarot Reader Extraordinaire, I decided to have a bake sale. I don't know how
to do a spaghetti dinner or pancake breakfast, but I do bake and know how to follow a recipe. The Village Market in Elk Rapids donated ingredients, and my baking "meditation" started last Saturday.
Now, I can meditate sitting, being quiet, and I like it very much. But I often find that a "doing" meditation gets me the best results when I am looking for answers. Walking, washing dishes, cleaning house, knitting - the routine lets me be in the present moment and allows my mind to be still. I must be intentional with this, otherwise I'd just be thinking, thinking, thinking...
I did get some insights as I continued to bake for six days straight - whenever I wasn't at the Higher Self Bookstore. One that, to me, was huge had to do with my weight-loss hitting a plateau. I realized that I was holding a belief that if I lost any more weight I'd have nothing to wear! Aha!
So I changed that belief, because it wasn't true - number one. I also had to give myself permission to shop and spend some money on clothes. It's okay! Along with a little hypnosis tweaking, the scale is on the move down once again. I'm a firm believer that what one believes is what one experiences in their reality. Identify the belief - if it is not working in getting what you want, change it. If you need help with this, let me know.
The Bake Sale starts today, August 2, and goes until it's all gone. If you happen to miss it, I have some ingredients left and would be happy to fill an order. Kafi should be back to the store soon - until she does we are also selling gift certificates for sessions with her at a discounted price.
Meditation doesn't have to be hard, and less thinking gives you a chance to hear what the heart, and Source, has to say.
to do a spaghetti dinner or pancake breakfast, but I do bake and know how to follow a recipe. The Village Market in Elk Rapids donated ingredients, and my baking "meditation" started last Saturday.
Now, I can meditate sitting, being quiet, and I like it very much. But I often find that a "doing" meditation gets me the best results when I am looking for answers. Walking, washing dishes, cleaning house, knitting - the routine lets me be in the present moment and allows my mind to be still. I must be intentional with this, otherwise I'd just be thinking, thinking, thinking...
I did get some insights as I continued to bake for six days straight - whenever I wasn't at the Higher Self Bookstore. One that, to me, was huge had to do with my weight-loss hitting a plateau. I realized that I was holding a belief that if I lost any more weight I'd have nothing to wear! Aha!
So I changed that belief, because it wasn't true - number one. I also had to give myself permission to shop and spend some money on clothes. It's okay! Along with a little hypnosis tweaking, the scale is on the move down once again. I'm a firm believer that what one believes is what one experiences in their reality. Identify the belief - if it is not working in getting what you want, change it. If you need help with this, let me know.
The Bake Sale starts today, August 2, and goes until it's all gone. If you happen to miss it, I have some ingredients left and would be happy to fill an order. Kafi should be back to the store soon - until she does we are also selling gift certificates for sessions with her at a discounted price.
Meditation doesn't have to be hard, and less thinking gives you a chance to hear what the heart, and Source, has to say.
Tuesday, July 2, 2013
It Should Feel Good
During a radio interview once, I was asked how does one know
when they are following the dream that isn’t meant to be? My reply was that if it is just too hard, if
every obstacle imaginable is showing up at every turn then you need to take a
good look at where it is you are trying to go.
I’m paraphrasing, but this is essentially what came out of my
mouth. I was allowing Divine guidance to
speak through me that day. But, what did
it mean? Was it the truth?
Sometimes the Universe has a different idea about the best
way to realize your dream, and it doesn’t always look the way you think it
should look. The last few years have
been difficult, financially, and keeping the doors open to the Higher Self
Bookstore had become “hard.” The more I
pushed and worked and planned and schemed and put my focus on what the store
wasn’t, the harder and harder it all seemed to get. This made me think of the radio interview.
So, was this dream over?
Was there something else I was supposed to be doing? Was it true that if
it is just too hard it must be the wrong dream for me? How do I know for sure?
It was apparent that I was not going to “figure this out”
from the place of focusing on what wasn’t, what was lacking, and fear. I went back to the basics and got clear on
what it is I want, who I want to be, and how I want to feel.
I surrendered. No, I
didn’t quit, throw my hands in the air and say whatever happens - happens. I surrendered to the Universe. Then I allowed myself to be guided. Instead of jumping on Facebook first thing in
the morning under the guise of being productive, I started a gratitude journal
and followed that with prayer and meditation.
I took care of myself with self-hypnosis and yoga. Then, and only then, did I go to the store.
I open the doors to abundance as I enter, I express
appreciation for another day to serve, and hold gratitude in my heart for all
who enter. Do I get it “right” everyday?
No, but the more I practice and hold my focus the more I experience pleasure,
harmony, and peace.
There are lots of changes happening at the Higher Self
Bookstore, and it feels wonderful. Have
you been in lately? Have you felt
it? How can it feel so good and not be
the right dream?
Sometimes when we pick a path, then forget what the real
result we are looking for is, we may take a little detour down a rocky
road. When we remember the highest
purpose, we are Divinely guided back to the path of least resistance.
The doors are open!
The highest purpose of the Higher Self Bookstore is to support your
personal growth and spiritual needs.
That is my purpose as well. And
don’t it feel good!
Sunday, June 2, 2013
It Is What It Is
Last Tuesday, I was in a really good mood and getting ready
to go to the Higher Self Bookstore. At
exactly 9:50am, I felt like I was hit by a 2X4, instantly sad, depressed, and
wanted to cry. I don’t normally “feel”
energy in this way, but I knew enough to just sit and be with it. In that moment all I wanted to do was crawl
into the bed, but I started asking myself questions instead. Is it me?
Is it someone else?
My old self would have made it all about me. Why am I sad?
What issue haven’t I looked at and resolved? What’s wrong with me? It was actually a great opportunity to do
some self-exploration, but somehow I knew this particular feeling was not about
me. I finished dressing and went to the
store. I asked others how they were
feeling and found out that many were feeling the same way. Some explained it was the moon, or the
planets, or the moon and the planets.
Some thought the pollen quotient was high. We were all trying to figure it out, put a
label on it, analyze it. It was what it
was.
I did my work, breathing through the emotions, knowing it
was temporary. About 2:30pm it started
to go away. For those more sensitive, it
started days before and lasted days later.
Many of the people I know have learned ways to be with it, using
personal growth and spiritual “tools” to get through, but I wondered about
those people who did not. I know that
when the “news” headlines flashed on AOL that day that I just could not bear to
look at them, much less read them. How
many people did crawl back into bed? How
many popped a pill? How many took it out
on their loved one? How many were just
told to “snap out of it!”
I remember one time when I as having a hard time staying
awake during a personal growth class. I
was an assistant trainer so this was not good.
The trainer sent me off to find the underlying issue and make a
shift! I sat down with pen and paper and
cried while I wrote down reasons which could
be core beliefs, causing me to behave in such an unacceptable way when all I
really wanted to do was make a difference and help people wake up. I had a hard time with it and started making
stuff up which MUST be true – there was no other explanation. Days later, after
the class was over, it hit me – I was just damned exhausted! I had put in hours preparing for the event
and hadn’t had much sleep.
Sometimes it just is what it is. I had beat myself up and guilted myself big
time when all I was was tired. You ever
do that? Create big drama when you could
have just sat in a state of fascination and allowed the truth to reveal itself?
I shall share my favorite “tool” with you. You can use it whenever you find yourself
overwhelmed, negative, confused, sad, judging a situation or others as being
wrong, - just about everything. Step
into a place of fascination. Remember,
as a child, being awed by butterflies, fireworks, ripples, stones that looked
like frogs? Go to that place. That place of no judgment, no names or labels,
just noticing and feeling the “awe.”
Observe from that place – be fascinated!
Like, WOW!
The more you practice fascination, the more it will become a
part of your life. You will experience
more peace and harmony, more compassion and patience, and more truth. You’ll make better decisions, because you are
not coming from a place of wrong or right, good or bad. Maybe this is how we
change the world.
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Thursday, May 2, 2013
The Higher Self Bookstore and my family have been my biggest priority and my most important relationships
these past few years. My beliefs about what it looks like to be caretaker of the store, mother to my daughter, grandmother to my grandson have directed my decisions, my commitments, my actions - as well as my reactions emotionally. I often forgot to put myself on the list of priorities so it's no wonder that my experiences in these relationships were not always what I'd call fulfilling - not entirely.
As in all relationships, there are slow times, bumpy times, boring times, and times of miscommunication and misunderstandings. Sometimes I felt cheated, betrayed, and unloved by what I gave all my love to. Well, if I'm not loving me, making me a priority, what else can I expect? I know from experience that when I am loving me, appreciating me, respecting me, being loyal to me, never cheating on me - my reality is quite different.
My daughter is off on her own raising her son and doing just fine without me, though she may never say she didn't "need" me because that's how she expresses her love. And, I've come to realize that no matter how much I try to control what happens in the store, it's just not always loving me back the way I want to be loved - and this is really out of my control. It does it's best but I think it is trying to tell me that it cannot be the "be all, end all" of my life. Maybe I'm trying to suffocate it - loving it and trying to make it do what I want it to do so I can be happy and fulfilled. This relationship is not in balance!
So I signed up on a couple of online dating sites. I've been "married" to the above mentioned relationships for far too long. I was "chatting" with one gentleman from California and said "You're in California, I'm in Northern Michigan. How do you figure?" (as in, how do we get to know each other). His reply, "LOL. Leave it to me."
Wow! Really? Did someone just say to me that I am not the one this time to figure it out, make a plan, make it happen, make all the decisions, take all the action.... I must be dreaming. It's not a bad thing to be independent, self-sufficient, and responsible, but it can be depleting, exhausting, depressing and even hardening to believe I have to do it all, all the time. After all, even if help is offered they don't truly mean it and I'm still responsible so I might as well do it myself. Holy Cow, Ricki - lighten up!
I say I've surrendered those things I can't control to All That Is, but I don't think I truly understood what that meant. No, I didn't surrender into hopelessness - but I didn't lay it all in the hands of the Creator, either. "Leave it to me." That's what I needed to hear. That is what true surrender is all about.
Whether I ever meet this gentleman or not, I will be forever grateful for his gift of those words. They have brought clarity to what I want to experience in my relationship with a partner, and in my relationship with God.
these past few years. My beliefs about what it looks like to be caretaker of the store, mother to my daughter, grandmother to my grandson have directed my decisions, my commitments, my actions - as well as my reactions emotionally. I often forgot to put myself on the list of priorities so it's no wonder that my experiences in these relationships were not always what I'd call fulfilling - not entirely.
As in all relationships, there are slow times, bumpy times, boring times, and times of miscommunication and misunderstandings. Sometimes I felt cheated, betrayed, and unloved by what I gave all my love to. Well, if I'm not loving me, making me a priority, what else can I expect? I know from experience that when I am loving me, appreciating me, respecting me, being loyal to me, never cheating on me - my reality is quite different.
My daughter is off on her own raising her son and doing just fine without me, though she may never say she didn't "need" me because that's how she expresses her love. And, I've come to realize that no matter how much I try to control what happens in the store, it's just not always loving me back the way I want to be loved - and this is really out of my control. It does it's best but I think it is trying to tell me that it cannot be the "be all, end all" of my life. Maybe I'm trying to suffocate it - loving it and trying to make it do what I want it to do so I can be happy and fulfilled. This relationship is not in balance!
So I signed up on a couple of online dating sites. I've been "married" to the above mentioned relationships for far too long. I was "chatting" with one gentleman from California and said "You're in California, I'm in Northern Michigan. How do you figure?" (as in, how do we get to know each other). His reply, "LOL. Leave it to me."
Wow! Really? Did someone just say to me that I am not the one this time to figure it out, make a plan, make it happen, make all the decisions, take all the action.... I must be dreaming. It's not a bad thing to be independent, self-sufficient, and responsible, but it can be depleting, exhausting, depressing and even hardening to believe I have to do it all, all the time. After all, even if help is offered they don't truly mean it and I'm still responsible so I might as well do it myself. Holy Cow, Ricki - lighten up!
I say I've surrendered those things I can't control to All That Is, but I don't think I truly understood what that meant. No, I didn't surrender into hopelessness - but I didn't lay it all in the hands of the Creator, either. "Leave it to me." That's what I needed to hear. That is what true surrender is all about.
Whether I ever meet this gentleman or not, I will be forever grateful for his gift of those words. They have brought clarity to what I want to experience in my relationship with a partner, and in my relationship with God.
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Friday, March 29, 2013
Colors of Transformation
Colors of Transformation
Into
the gray haze of hope.
I
walk through the red fire
Of
fear and anger.
I
welcome the yellow rays
Of
insight called awareness.
I
reach for the white energy
Of
power.
I
delight in the silver twinklings
Of joy.
I
surrender to the pink mists
Of
peace.
I
accept the gold star
Of
purpose.
I
am love in all colors
As
I shine in my excellence.
Friday, March 1, 2013
A Great Experiment
The last couple days I have been contemplating the meanings of the words "punishment" and "consequence". How this all came about was a recent debate - I said they are not the same thing, someone else saying they are the same thing. Well, in a way they are the same - according to the dictionary. But they are also different - and in a very powerful way!
What became clear to me was how certain words can be empowering, dis-empowering, or neutral. It is my past experiences and indoctrinations, how I was raised and how the words were introduced and re-enforced to me that trigger my negative or positive (or neutral) responses.
For instance: It's cold outside. Is that true? Here in Traverse City someone may believe 30 degrees is cold. Someone in Alaska may think the opposite. "I'm cold" is really a personal experience. "I'm freezing! I can't stand it! This is awful!" - now this person has assigned very strong beliefs about what it is to be cold and is emotionally connected to those beliefs.
I'm cold. It is what it is. I will go inside or get another sweater. Or - yes, a break from the hot flashes. Mm. You see, we give meaning to what we perceive our reality to be at the time. The influences during our childhood can often be reflected in our experience of today.
A small child witnessing Mom freaking out about how cold it is outside can leave a lasting impression. When the child is older and encouraged to go outside to play, child freaks out about how cold it is outside and refuses.
You understand, of course, that I am not talking about the weather. Words are one thing - the energy behind them, the inflections, negative or positive connotations, can have just as much power. A mother could use the word consequence instead of punishment, but if she always associates it with pain and suffering that will be how the child incorporates that word into its experience!
This is how we learn as we grow and how we determine how we see the world. What do you believe? Pay attention to how you react - or not react - to words, labels, etc. Notice how others react and ask yourself "What would a person have to believe to react that way?" Now this is a Great Experiment! Let me know how it goes!
What became clear to me was how certain words can be empowering, dis-empowering, or neutral. It is my past experiences and indoctrinations, how I was raised and how the words were introduced and re-enforced to me that trigger my negative or positive (or neutral) responses.
For instance: It's cold outside. Is that true? Here in Traverse City someone may believe 30 degrees is cold. Someone in Alaska may think the opposite. "I'm cold" is really a personal experience. "I'm freezing! I can't stand it! This is awful!" - now this person has assigned very strong beliefs about what it is to be cold and is emotionally connected to those beliefs.
I'm cold. It is what it is. I will go inside or get another sweater. Or - yes, a break from the hot flashes. Mm. You see, we give meaning to what we perceive our reality to be at the time. The influences during our childhood can often be reflected in our experience of today.
A small child witnessing Mom freaking out about how cold it is outside can leave a lasting impression. When the child is older and encouraged to go outside to play, child freaks out about how cold it is outside and refuses.
You understand, of course, that I am not talking about the weather. Words are one thing - the energy behind them, the inflections, negative or positive connotations, can have just as much power. A mother could use the word consequence instead of punishment, but if she always associates it with pain and suffering that will be how the child incorporates that word into its experience!
This is how we learn as we grow and how we determine how we see the world. What do you believe? Pay attention to how you react - or not react - to words, labels, etc. Notice how others react and ask yourself "What would a person have to believe to react that way?" Now this is a Great Experiment! Let me know how it goes!
Labels:
beliefs,
childhood,
children,
communication,
consequence,
emotions,
empower,
energy,
experiences,
indoctrination,
meaning,
parenting,
perception,
punishment,
reality,
Traverse City
Friday, February 1, 2013
Vacation. We all look forward to it even as we hustle and bustle to get ready for it: make sure our duties are covered in the workplace, the house is locked up tight or a sitter is arranged, clothes are unpacked and repacked (going to warmer weather!), errands are run, bills are paid, and the car is road-ready. It seems a lot of work is involved, but we don't mind because we are going on vacation!
I went to Florida in January and was gone for two and a half weeks. I had every intention of using my time to come up with some creative ideas for the Higher Self Bookstore, plan a budget, make a marketing plan, etc. Didn't happen. What I did instead was relax and have fun. Imagine that!
The old Ricki would have beat herself up for not sticking to her goals, for not being "productive." Didn't I write about relaxing last month? The new Ricki came home feeling good, relaxed, optimistic, and peaceful. I guess the spirit wants what the spirit wants!
What I am totally fascinated with is my new-found ability (actually, re-found, as I used to be able to do this easily, then I forgot) to hold on to that peace, even facing the work load that awaited me at the store and at home. Preparing for vacation is one thing, catching up after you get back is another!
This peace prevails, throughout my body, the memory imbedded in my cells. As I work to catch up and address all the things that need doing, I notice that I am not feeling overwhelmed, or angry, or any other bad feeling that used to be my experience upon a return from vacation, no matter how wonderful it was. Hey, committing to "relax" worked, even though I forgot that commitment almost as soon as I made it, embarrassed to say.
How do I hold on to this? Not sure, but I'm pretty sure, knowing me, that it won't on its own without a little help. So here's another commitment that I may forget, but the Universe won't! - spend more time having fun, enjoying the moment, being with friends, laughing...most of all laughing! If you all have any fun ideas for me, please, let me know! Sometimes, I forget.
Oh, yeah, I did come up with a few ideas for the Higher Self Bookstore...I'll keep you posted:)
I went to Florida in January and was gone for two and a half weeks. I had every intention of using my time to come up with some creative ideas for the Higher Self Bookstore, plan a budget, make a marketing plan, etc. Didn't happen. What I did instead was relax and have fun. Imagine that!
The old Ricki would have beat herself up for not sticking to her goals, for not being "productive." Didn't I write about relaxing last month? The new Ricki came home feeling good, relaxed, optimistic, and peaceful. I guess the spirit wants what the spirit wants!
What I am totally fascinated with is my new-found ability (actually, re-found, as I used to be able to do this easily, then I forgot) to hold on to that peace, even facing the work load that awaited me at the store and at home. Preparing for vacation is one thing, catching up after you get back is another!
This peace prevails, throughout my body, the memory imbedded in my cells. As I work to catch up and address all the things that need doing, I notice that I am not feeling overwhelmed, or angry, or any other bad feeling that used to be my experience upon a return from vacation, no matter how wonderful it was. Hey, committing to "relax" worked, even though I forgot that commitment almost as soon as I made it, embarrassed to say.
How do I hold on to this? Not sure, but I'm pretty sure, knowing me, that it won't on its own without a little help. So here's another commitment that I may forget, but the Universe won't! - spend more time having fun, enjoying the moment, being with friends, laughing...most of all laughing! If you all have any fun ideas for me, please, let me know! Sometimes, I forget.
Oh, yeah, I did come up with a few ideas for the Higher Self Bookstore...I'll keep you posted:)
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
Resolve To Relax
Happy New Year! Everyone is saying it, repeating it, writing it. It means I wish you to be happy this year, the year of 2013. I, too, wish you happiness this year and every year. I hope you will resolve to BE happy! Make it your resolution! It is a choice, no matter how I wish and hope, you get to choose...as do I.
The last few days have been rather calm around my house. My daughter moved to her own place, all demands of December are done and over. I haven't had to be someplace or cook something or put out any fires. It's unnerving really. I keep waiting for something to come slap me up-side the head, out of nowhere - it's been that kind of year.
I've been "resting" after the holidays, or trying to. What I feel is more like "restless." Just because I'm at rest doesn't mean my mind shut off feeding me all the things I "should" be doing. I had been holding an intention for peace in my house. Calm is not the same as peace. I sit in the calm, but my body is amped up for fight or flight! What next?! What will go wrong?! I can't seem to get to the "all is well and all is well and manner of things shall be well." I want to relax! That's it! At least now I know what it is I want. Aha!
We all want transformation because it feels so good to have those "aha" moments. With the "aha" we get to smile, experience gratitude and peace. I like it, too, so I pondered my feelings of restlessness searching for my "issue." If I have an issue I can process it and get myself an "aha!" I have been known to make up an issue just to have transformation. Now there's an issue to process right there.
This is how we normally experience transformation: We are at peace, going through our days in joy...for awhile. We start to feel a little restless - let's call it what it is: We get bored. So we go out and create/draw to us a little drama! Usually something we've gone through before because we already know how to handle it. We do handle it, survive it, and feel good about that. Now we are at peace again, going through out days in joy. This is how we experience "life" - when we are not fully conscious. Like a spinning wheel.
On a more conscious level we do look deep for the issue, the belief that has this feeling or drama re-occurring. If we can find it and let it go, at least that one won't show up again. Real transformation takes focus and work. We have to be awake for it.
But when we are asleep, we spin the wheel. I don't know about you but I'd like to get off this wheel. I want to feel okay with experiencing peace, to relax - in the calm or in the chaos. Breathe with me, ah............and know that we do not have to "survive a whack up-side the head" just to have something to do. We can relax...it's okay.
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