Here Comes 'da Judge

There I go dating myself.  This comes from an old TV program called Laugh In.  Judging, in many personal growth arenas, is emphasized as a bad thing.  Well, most good trainings would not use the word bad, or the word good.  It’s about what works! And I agree.

There is no right or wrong.  It’s about what works.  Throughout this blog I will use good and bad and right and wrong for the sake of clarity. Being judgmental is not bad and wrong, unless it is.

This is usually referring to our automatic responses  based on what we’ve decided to believe is right, wrong, good, bad, acceptable, offensive, pretty, ugly, affordable, expensive, moral, ethical, valuable, worthwhile, worthless, evil, deserving, safe, dangerous, etc. 

As you take note of these responses, these thoughts that pop into your head without your permission, you see how they limit your experience of someone or something, not allowing for new information to be brought forth.

You will resist this awakening because your “judge” likes to be right.  Your “judge” would actually have you believe you are right than let you be happy.  Human beings will fight for their right to be right, sacrificing love and happiness, prosperity, health, and peace of mind.

When you practice being non-judgmental, you’ll acknowledge that you’ve been right about some things and wrong about others.  You’ll learn to observe from an “it’s not bad and it’s not good, it just is” place. “It’s not ugly, it’s just not my cup of tea.”  “Someone’s junk is another person’s treasure.”

We have given meaning to everything throughout our lives.  We are meaning making machines!  We have opinions about politics, religion, marriage, raising children, money, sex, the rights/wrongs/goods/bads/ likes/dislikes – just try and think of something you don’t have an opinion about.

Now, some people have taken non-judgmentality (I think I made this word up) a little too far.  You may become a person with no opinion – ever!  You quit making decisions because you don’t want it considered a judgment.  You become a fence-sitter.  Conversations with you become boring, even frustrating, because you won’t take a stand, afraid you’ll be considered judgmental.  

I have seen a personal growth student stopped cold upon hearing an accusation that they are being judgmental.  Like it is the very worst thing in the world to be!  What the student didn’t hear, even though the teacher may have spoken it, is that judging is not wrong or bad when it works – using discernment.

In order to use discernment, you must be open to receiving all the information, that which you think you already know and have an opinion about, and that which you don’t know.  You must be discerning when buying a house or a car, because you prefer not to end up in a fire trap or a lemon – am I right?  Be discerning picking out a college, a career, a doctor, or a mate!  Be discerning about your health or your child’s daycare.

What we are talking about is noticing the mind chatter of  “da judge” within you.  The chatter is the automatic thinking hatched from the beliefs you have.  This is core and the noticing is key in your growth. So just notice, and be fascinated!

It Is What It Is

Last Tuesday, I was in a really good mood and getting ready to go to the Higher Self Bookstore.  At exactly 9:50am, I felt like I was hit by a 2X4, instantly sad, depressed, and wanted to cry.  I don’t normally “feel” energy in this way, but I knew enough to just sit and be with it.  In that moment all I wanted to do was crawl into the bed, but I started asking myself questions instead.  Is it me?  Is it someone else?

My old self would have made it all about me.  Why am I sad?  What issue haven’t I looked at and resolved?  What’s wrong with me?  It was actually a great opportunity to do some self-exploration, but somehow I knew this particular feeling was not about me.  I finished dressing and went to the store.  I asked others how they were feeling and found out that many were feeling the same way.  Some explained it was the moon, or the planets, or the moon and the planets.  Some thought the pollen quotient was high.   We were all trying to figure it out, put a label on it, analyze it.  It was what it was.

I did my work, breathing through the emotions, knowing it was temporary.  About 2:30pm it started to go away.  For those more sensitive, it started days before and lasted days later.  Many of the people I know have learned ways to be with it, using personal growth and spiritual “tools” to get through, but I wondered about those people who did not.  I know that when the “news” headlines flashed on AOL that day that I just could not bear to look at them, much less read them.  How many people did crawl back into bed?  How many popped a pill?  How many took it out on their loved one?  How many were just told to “snap out of it!”

I remember one time when I as having a hard time staying awake during a personal growth class.  I was an assistant trainer so this was not good.  The trainer sent me off to find the underlying issue and make a shift!  I sat down with pen and paper and cried while I  wrote down reasons which could be core beliefs, causing me to behave in such an unacceptable way when all I really wanted to do was make a difference and help people wake up.  I had a hard time with it and started making stuff up which MUST be true – there was no other explanation. Days later, after the class was over, it hit me – I was just damned exhausted!  I had put in hours preparing for the event and hadn’t had much sleep.

Sometimes it just is what it is.  I had beat myself up and guilted myself big time when all I was was tired.  You ever do that?  Create big drama when you could have just sat in a state of fascination and allowed the truth to reveal itself?

I shall share my favorite “tool” with you.  You can use it whenever you find yourself overwhelmed, negative, confused, sad, judging a situation or others as being wrong, - just about everything.  Step into a place of fascination.  Remember, as a child, being awed by butterflies, fireworks, ripples, stones that looked like frogs?  Go to that place.  That place of no judgment, no names or labels, just noticing and feeling the “awe.”  Observe from that place – be fascinated!  Like, WOW!

The more you practice fascination, the more it will become a part of your life.  You will experience more peace and harmony, more compassion and patience, and more truth.  You’ll make better decisions, because you are not coming from a place of wrong or right, good or bad. Maybe this is how we change the world.