Beep! Beep!

BeepBeep.  There's the garbage truck.  BeepBeepBeep.  Car alarm.  Beep(soft).  That's my hearing
aid telling me the battery is about to die.  DingDingDingDing.  Microwave.  ClangClang.  Door to Higher Self Bookstore opening.  Ding.  Engine light went on.  Calypso music.  Someone sent me a text.  DingDongDingDong. My grandson is outside playing with the doorbell.

Now that I have hearing aids, I am fascinated with how loud these signals seem to have gotten.  I apologize for not hearing my phone when you called prior to acquiring these wonderful devices, or not hearing you call my name in a crowd, or misunderstanding what you said to me standing just two feet away.  It's as if you were the "still, small voice" I wanted to hear but couldn't.

Wouldn't it be grand if Spirit gave me a loud Beep, Ding, Clang or Dong, when It wanted me to listen, pay attention?  BEEP - Ricki, the man of your dreams is just around the corner - turn right!  BEEPBEEP - play the lotto - today!  DING - Ricki, you must get to bed early tonight, surprises are in store for you tomorrow!

Maybe some of you do get these messages loud and clear.  I don't.  Though I am getting better at listening and paying attention to the quieter small voice, through practice.  Just because It's not loud doesn't mean I'm not receiving.  Be it intuition, a voice in my head, or a symbol, a sign, appearing at a significant time, I know I am connected.  You are, too.

Loud and clear has happened for me - twice.  You better believe I paid attention and did what the Voice told me to do.  What would have happened if I hadn't?  Don't know don't care don't dwell and don't doubt.   I trusted the loud voice, and I'm learning to trust the small one as well.

Still, I certainly would love the volume turned up a bit, wouldn't you?  Maybe get me some Spiritual Hearing Aids!  "Ask and you shall receive," from my fingertips to God's ears!  In the meantime, I shall keep on practicing, listening, and trusting.

Whoop! There It Is!

This morning I gave my young roommate a ride to work because he had over slept.  The amazing
part, to me, was that I wasn't angry or aggravated, I didn't feel the need to lecture or berate him,  and I didn't feel sorry for myself always having to be the good girl and be nice.  About four weeks ago that is exactly how I would have reacted.

Four weeks ago, I was just as amazed at myself for the negative feelings, not to mention my negative reactions.  Just when I think I've tackled the issue(s), shifted, dis-created and re-created that part of me.  Then, whoop! There it is!  The issue may not look exactly the same, or it may have reduced in size, but there it is to be looked at, if I dare.

Now, on my defense, about four weeks ago the planets were lined up to support just this kind of disturbance.  Bless their hearts.  And when I "blew up", my daughter literally called me out.  I don't know when she became my teacher, she probably always has been, and I am grateful.  I promised I'd come home in a better mood.  I did and everything changed.

In that state of anger and frustration I had lowered my vibration and was attracting low-vibration situations that only fed that state of being.  Those around me lowered their vibration as well and there we all were, swimming in this emotional muck not knowing how to get out (or even wanting to).

So it was a turning point, that "blow up", for me and my daughter.  As we shifted into a better understanding, let go of being stuck and stepping out of the illusion, we raised our vibration and allowed higher vibration experiences to come into play.  What we learned is that we didn't have to go into the muck to have aha moments.  It is possible to get to where it is we say we want to be without wading through the mire, using awareness and practice.

I do not claim to be fully evolved, to have ascended - but I'm working on it.  I share these parts of me with you because my story may be your story.  The story can be changed - we are making it up as we go anyway - that's the good news!

How does one shift into a higher vibration?  Anyway that works for you!  Practice not taking things personally.  When looking at a situation, ask yourself  "what else could be going on?"  Decide to feel better.  Have you ever been in a heated argument with someone then the phone rings and you answer, sweetly, happily, "Hello?"  Practice shifting, call up a better feeling, even if it's just one emotion at a time, up the ladder.  Communicate, clearly, from a neutral place, what you want and listen, openly, to responses, without taking them personally.  What lifts your spirit?  What always seems to put you in a better "mood?"  You know what I'm taking about!  Then go be amazed!

"Why Here? Why Me?"

As I talked to people showing an interest in becoming the new caretakers of the Higher Self Bookstore, they would ask how I came to be here.  Without fail - all of them!  In 2000, the year I came to Traverse City to take the reins of the Higher Self, a new magazine was being born called the Healing Garden Journal.  An article I wrote for them tells the whole story, so I thought I'd post it for you all.  I hope you enjoy my story!

" Why Here?  Why Me?"

by Ricki Blanchard

(printed in Healing Garden Journal September 2000)

Almost four years ago, I stepped into the Higher Self Bookstore and said to myself, "I'd like to do something like this someday."  There were books everywhere (I love to read), some I've read, and some on subjects I'd never heard of.  Jewelry in shapes and symbols that held my attention.  Items for rituals, psychic and inner-exploration, most quite foreign to me.  I wanted to hang around, but a long drive back to Downriver Detroit awaited me.

I was in the area to attend a personal growth course in Northport.  Five years ago I associated personal growth with college courses and business seminars.  I was introduced to a course based on the concept that 'what you believe creates your life'.  I have been living this concept and creating my life purposefully ever since.

Just dreaming, a friend and I imagined creating an entity like the Higher Self in the Downriver Detroit area.  I also mentioned having a bookstore someday to my daughter, Anna, who took it all quite seriously.  She didn't want the dream, she wanted the reality - and she wanted it now.  I could not see how this was possible.  She started making signs for the door of the bookstore we would have - someday.

I left the corporate world and assisted in introducing the Lifeskills training to others.  I helped form a company around this curriculum (Access I Education) and learned much of what it takes to start and build a small business.  Many people have taken the Lifeskills courses, and their awakening was my main reward.  There was not a lot of money to go around in the beginning.

I knew I needed an outside income to start a bookstore.  While Anna and I continued to talk about what our store would look like, a home-based business that promised a residual income was made available to me.  I grabbed it.

While Anna and debated over gourmet coffee or a tea room in our store, other investment opportunities came my way.  Though I was still in debt from the launching of Access I Education, I did not let these get away.

Last October, I asked my women's group who wanted to invest in a bookstore with me.  They all raised their hands.  Many voices joined in the store conversation.  Anna started researching where to find investment money.

In February, during a reading, a psychic asked me when I was moving?  "Oh," I said, "I couldn't for a couple years yet.  She said it would be sooner.

In April a friend showed me the ad in the Phenomenews magazine about the Higher Self Bookstore being for sale. Yes, the store I wanted to emulate was available!  The Universe was giving what I had asked for, and I dared not say "But God, I'm not ready!", though this was my first thought.  I had no idea how to do this, but I trusted that as I took the steps, the what and the who I needed would show up.  And so it was.

I called the broker for information; I called a friend who handles mortgages who called a friend who was expert in business properties; I got advise from a friend who owned a franchise; I talked to everyone I knew, made lists of questions and got the answers.  I traveled to Traverse City with my sister, Cindy, an accountant.  I introduced myself via telephone to the owner, Kathleen Campbell, letting her know about the synchronicity that had occurred.  It was like talking to an old friend.

Now, I had arranged for the sale of my condo, but where was the rest of the money going to come from?  I went to my women's group and said,  "This is real!  Who's in?"  During the discussions that followed, my cousin turned to me and said,  "How much did you say you had in your retirement account?  Ricki, you have the money.  You can do this yourself!"  I did and I could.  Less than a year ago, my broker had gotten me into internet stocks at just the right time.  The money was there.  Coincidence?

So, I dis-created the belief that one shouldn't touch their retirement account.  My offer was accepted!  Kathleen worked with me to put all the details in place.  Utilities, insurance, lease agreements, telephone and credit card services, bank accounts, rubber stamps, waste disposal, and on and on.  We closed on July 7th. 

In two months time, my whole life had changed.  I understand about thoughts being energy, and speech making it stronger, and like matter (energy) joining like mater and eventual manifestation.  I understand it, I just don't explain it so good.  The store was more evidence for me that my beliefs, along with commitment to them and action that supports them, to create my life, the life I want when I'm intentional. 

Why this particular store?  This is more than a store.  This place has to be experienced.  Whenever I enter it, and others have told me they feel the same way, I immediately have a sense of peace, a certain calmness.  At the same time, there's an energy that lifts me up and promises happiness, excitement, and joy.

I want people to come here, take their shoes off, stay awhile, get grounded - or get high, naturally.  This place is here to

support all forms of enlightenment and transformation.  No matter what belief system, or no belief system, and no matter if a person is just starting to explore or has been on the path a long, long time, the Higher Self will provide the tools, books, ritual supplies, and symbolic reminders for whatever helps a person get in touch and stay in touch with their spirit. The store also supports natural healing, body work, and other therapies for healthy body-mind-spirit connections.  Healers/readers are here everyday and walk-ins are welcome, though appointments are recommended.  Classes and workshops are being scheduled for evenings and weekends.

I feel as if I was welcomed into the store and the community with loving, open arms.  My goal is that everyone who enters the store experiences this same feeling.  Come see.  Come feel.  I am so glad to be here, and promise to take good care of this Higher Self. 

Heart A-Thumpin'

Two months ago I announced that I was selling the Higher Self Bookstore.  Every cell in my body screamed "Yes!" so I know it is the right decision for me.  I am trusting the Universe to make this easy, trusting that I will know what to do, and if I don't, the right people will show up with the right answers. 

Letting go is a process.  In selling the business, there are many things to consider, steps to be taken, legalities to be met, figures to work and re-work, and people to interview in finding the perfect match for the Higher Self.

The part of the process I wasn't expecting (at least not to the extent they are showing up) is the wide range of emotions I'm experiencing.  From excitement to down-right fear and everything in between.

If you were to ask me if I'm an emotional person I would answer, "No, I'm not."  It may be partly my nature (Gemini - it's a head thing), and partly because I have practiced practiced practiced viewing my reality from a place of fascination and openness.  It's not often that I have knee-jerk reactions.  I practice the concept that there is no wrong or right, just what works or doesn't work. 

This morning I was remembering when I flew down to Florida to help drive my Mom back to Michigan.  The hospice nurse asked me if I was an emotional person.  I immediately responded 'No, I'm not."  She accepted this without hesitation, without doubt.  I had no doubt.  I knew I would do what needed to be done and address my emotions and feelings later.

Now you may think that maybe I just bury my feelings, and you may be right in a way.  Maybe emotions are just slower to surface in me than in others.  As I deal with the business of selling the store, I welcome the emotions that are surfacing now.  What a blessing!  I get to look at them, each and every one, so that I may uncover the beliefs that are triggering them.  It's not the feelings that are buried, it's the beliefs: what I believe about success and failure, worthiness, value, meaning and purpose of life, the future, earning, deserving, responsibilities and ownership!

Personal growth, for me, is an ongoing adventure.  I dig and dig, then I take a break.  Sometimes my break lasts far longer than the Universe would prefer, so It gives me a push.  "Ricki, you can't go up another level until you go down another layer, take a good look, then let it go!"  Isn't this exciting?!

Welcome your emotions!  They are your first indicators to what you believe.  If that belief doesn't work for you any more, let it go.  There can be a big difference between what you believe and what is true.  If your belief is working for you - rejoice!

The Higher Self Bookstore has been a huge part of my life for nearly fifteen years and, of course, there are going to be emotions surrounding the separation process.  But not because of false beliefs - like, I'm not worthy, I won't succeed, I don't deserve, I'm afraid of the unknown...heck, they are already gone!  Next...bring it on!

How Is That Like My Life?

So, I'm looking out into my backyard and I see the Red Squirrel sitting on a very skinny branch of a
bush.  Yes, the Red Squirrel is still around and still keeping most the other critters away.  Often I see two of them, now.  They do act quite differently from the bigger grey and black squirrels who used to frolic in my backyard.

As I watch, Red does not move - not one little bit.  Red appears to have its tail up along its back and I can just make out its white belly.  Ten minutes go by (maybe just six or seven, but a long time, anyway), and I start to wonder if I am really seeing Red, or am I seeing a leaf.  My eyes aren't perfect and Red is about fifty feet away.

This is most peculiar behavior, I'm thinking.  Red doesn't usually pay me much never mind and I couldn't see anything else threatening in the yard.  I was reminded of a time when I watched a rabbit stand frozen for fifteen minutes.  But that was a rabbit; not peculiar behavior for a rabbit.

It's a leaf, I decide, and move on.  A few minutes later I look again.  No leaf on the branch and no leaf on the ground.  It had to have been Red.

How is that like my life? (This is a question I use often to make sense of things, of myself, and possibly get to an aha moment or breakthrough.)  When else have I known what was so and then second guessed myself?  I knew what was true then allowed doubt to enter.

Has that ever happened to you?  You know that you know for sure, then allow someone else, or you're own stinkin' thinkin', to mess with your mind. I do it way too often, but now - I am more aware that I am doing it and can let myself know that I know.

Why do we do this?  Low self-esteem?  Lack of self-confidence?  Someone tell you you were not smart as a kid and you decided to believe it?  Maybe just fear of being wrong so we change our answer on the test at the last minute.  "I thought I made a mistake, but I was mistaken."

I was right then I was wrong, but first I was right.  Why couldn't I just let myself be right?  Ah, I am still learning.  I am still learning to check in with my "heart mind", my inner brain, for what is true.  With Red, I let my mind mess with me, using my own yet-to-be-revealed beliefs about myself against me.

Now I have more power!  The power of awareness.  The power of insight.  The power of enlightenment.  Thank you, Red the Squirrel, for these valuable teachings.   

"Let It Go!"

The Universe has finally sent me a clear message.  Well, the messages were probably always clear but I refused to recognize them.  I’ve been asking for a sign to verify that I was in the right place, doing what I was supposed to be doing, and that I was on the right path.

Since July in 2000, I had always been very clear, down into my soul, that I was exactly where I was supposed to be.  My purpose was to take care of the Higher Self Bookstore and provide the space for readers, healers, seekers, students, and anyone wishing to awaken, here in this haven, sanctuary, school, store, and growth center.

Staying open through the economic downslide required all I had to give.  Did you know the Higher Self Bookstore will celebrate its 29^th year in serving the community this April?  I’m the third owner/caretaker.  I believe that the Higher Self Bookstore is an entity in itself with its own spirit and purpose.

For some time now, I had been resisting the messages, declaring “no, that can’t be it.”  “Let me do this first, then that, and maybe I’ll get that feeling back that “yes” this is my purpose and my destiny.”

Ricki and daughter, Anna, 2000

When I bought the store in 2000, it was as if the Universe had set me up.  I had no idea what I was doing but everything fell into place and it was so easy.  I was exactly where I should be.

Now the Universe has made it clear that It has something else in mind for me, but first, I have to “Let it go!”  No question as to what…it is time to let someone else take over the caretaking of the Higher Self Bookstore.  When I made the decision to let it go, I must say, it felt so, so right.  I felt lighter, empowered, and ready for the next adventure!

What will I be doing?  That is not yet clear, but I know it is going to be awesome!  What I do know is that I will still get to play in this personal and spiritual growth arena!  And, I fully expect the Universe to set me up and make it easy!

So, yes, the Higher Self Bookstore is for sale.  I do not have the figures together yet and I need a few weeks to get the “business” documents together, but if you are interested – think about it, sit with it, feel what it would be like.  Then let me know and we’ll talk.

For now, I will continue to take care and serve you all.  It has been my extreme pleasure to serve you through the Higher Self Bookstore, and I know this connection will never end.

Darn That Squirrel!

There is a milk shoot/box off my kitchen where the milkman used to deliver milk.  Yes, it's an old little house, but it has a huge backyard!  I have often looked out this shoot and watched the gray squirrels, black squirrels, rabbits, chipmunks, cardinals, blue jays and other birds, and the occasional racoon and skunk.  Many times there would be six to eight squirrels running and playing while a robin splashed in the bird bath and a chipmunk looked for ways to get into the house.  The male cardinal was a regular and the female cardinal kept to the shadows.  Whenever I saw the cardinal I told myself all is well, Spirit is with me.  My sign for myself, my personal affirmation.

A few weeks ago I noticed a little red squirrel had started coming around.  At first I was delighted.  But then I noticed "Red" chasing the other squirrels (twice its size) out of the yard!  I haven't seen the birds much and spot the rabbit rarely.  "Red" has taken over the yard!

Another phenomenon this summer:  Green pine cones were littering the yard!  Sticky with sap, we'd pick them up before letting JS, my grandson, out in the yard, knowing he'd grab them and then be covered in pine pitch.  We picked up hundreds!  Looking out the milk shoot last week, after cleaning up the yard, I noticed three cones down, all in one area.  As I watched, more fell.  And more fell.  I finally stuck my head out the shoot and looked way up to the top of the tree.  There was "Red" knocking the cones off!  Within minutes there were about forty cones on the ground and I couldn't help but laugh.

The question came to mind, "How and why did I attract this red squirrel into my life?"  As a believer that I create the experiences in my life with my beliefs, I often use this type of question to take note of what I'm up to, what I'm thinking, what is the vibration I am putting out there into the Universe.

Knowing that it often takes a little time for my creation to be made manifest, I took myself back into the past few weeks, months.  Studying the squirrel, it appeared to me that "Red" wanted the yard, now its home, all to itself.  Not too long ago I was, let's say, not comfortable in my own home.  People moved into my little house with me.  People I loved and cared for.  But I was having a hard time coping with the messiness, added chores I had assigned to myself, and mostly the lack of privacy.  I felt I had lost my sanctuary.

So I think "Red" showed up to mirror the vibration/energy I was creating as I figured out how to live in this new way.  But even before "Red" moved in, I had started to shift my thoughts and beliefs into ones that better matched what I preferred.  I found ways to ask for what I wanted in the home, created a space for myself for privacy and sanctuary, and appreciated the company of family and friends in my home.

Now I get to watch what unfolds in my backyard as my new thoughts and beliefs go out into the Universe.  Will "Red" leave, or make nice with the other animals and birds?  I'll keep watching out the milk shoot and keep you posted.  By the way, what's going on in your backyard (Life) that needs a closer look?

Struggle? Suffer?

We will all have struggles but we don't have to suffer.  These words, or similar because I can't remember where I read them recently, really got me thinking.  Do I struggle?  Do I suffer?  The words in and of themselves are not ones that usually come to my mind.  Instead, yes, I face challenges.  Yes, I don't always feel good as I work through those challenges.

Over the years, I have learned a more positive way of thinking and speaking - though I must admit I regress from time to time.  Challenge feels better than struggle, don't you think?  But I can understand how some people feel the need to struggle and suffer during their struggling.  It's what they know.

At the moment you could say I am struggling with these words to say what I want to say.  Wrestling comes to mind.  You could say that I suffered through my bronchitis last month, coughing most nights instead of sleeping.  Funny, I never considered myself suffering.  I felt bad, undeniably, and getting well was my challenge (struggle?).

Suffer - to endure, tolerate - was not always energetically negative.  We have made it so and the dictionary I'm looking at actually confirms this.  Struggle by definition must include great difficulty.  We can make things so hard sometimes, can't we?  Is our reward bigger by degree of difficulty?

Many claim that words have power, that they have higher or lower vibrations and should be used carefully.  I agree to a point.  For me, if you have absolutely no energy one way or another on or about a word, it is neutral and without vibration.  I could be wrong about this, but I know I can use the words struggle and suffer without fear of consequence.  Someone who does have a negative belief on these words will most likely attract more suffering and more struggles if this is their focus.

How did I get to this place?  Well, of course, my trainings and studies of personal and spiritual growth.  But late, I think it's because I have been practicing (practicing, as in I'm not perfect at it yet) surrender.  Not giving up, but surrendering to what is, doing what needs to be done, and knowing the answers will come and the outcomes will be for my highest good.  There is no suffering in surrender, at least in my experience.

So, there it is.  Yes, there will always be challenges (life would be pretty boring without some), but suffering is a choice.  My musings.  Tell me what you "muse" about this subject!  I'd love to hear from you.

Unattached

A couple weekends ago I was visiting my Dad and found myself sitting with him and watching, of all things, a baseball game on TV.  I gave myself permission a long time ago to not put my energy and time into watching and following sports just so I could remember the names of players, statistics, and who-is-in-what-place for conversational purposes (mostly connected to meeting and talking with men).  I just am not that interested and prefer to put my attention elsewhere.

There is nothing wrong with sports and I understand it is a favorite pastime for many people.  Both my grandmothers were baseball fans and rarely missed a Tiger's game on TV.  I, myself, attended many baseball and hockey games just for the fun of it.

Anyway, watching the Tiger's game with Dad, I found I was thoroughly enjoying myself.  I didn't know the players, did notice some new protective gear they were wearing since I stopped paying attention, and did ask Dad a question or two about rules I had forgotten.  Fascinating!

It reminds me of a book I read last year, The Five Levels of Attachment.  In the book, Don Miguel Ruiz, Jr. explained the levels using sports as an example.  I could watch the baseball game, be pleasantly entertained, and sigh just a bit when the Tigers lost.  No attachment.

Some people are really into their sports and tend to identify to an extreme with their team of choice.  The very highest level of attachment is evident in their reaction to a team loss with the experience of deep anger, depression, even suicide.  And then there are those levels in-between.

Attachments can be detrimental to your health - body, mind and spirit.  Through personal growth classes, this is something I worked on and continue to look at diligently.  I'm talking about being attached to things, people, and beliefs.  Thinking I couldn't live without something or someone, that I would just die without them or it, was a miserable way to live.  I saw the truth in this and had to let go of attachments - well, maybe not all, I am a work in progress after all.

I do prefer to keep things around that make my life easier.  Makeup mirror, toothbrush, stove and refrigerator, running water...  And I prefer to keep my family and friends close, for as long as possible.  But I am not attached, though this may sound cold and heartless to some. 

How attached are you to your beliefs? Opinions? Points of view?  Ideas?  It's worth a look into identifying the attachments that are limiting and denying you the life you want to create.  Imagine living without the cords that bind, free to fly, open in mind and heart.

Here Comes 'da Judge

There I go dating myself.  This comes from an old TV program called Laugh In.  Judging, in many personal growth arenas, is emphasized as a bad thing.  Well, most good trainings would not use the word bad, or the word good.  It’s about what works! And I agree.

There is no right or wrong.  It’s about what works.  Throughout this blog I will use good and bad and right and wrong for the sake of clarity. Being judgmental is not bad and wrong, unless it is.

This is usually referring to our automatic responses  based on what we’ve decided to believe is right, wrong, good, bad, acceptable, offensive, pretty, ugly, affordable, expensive, moral, ethical, valuable, worthwhile, worthless, evil, deserving, safe, dangerous, etc. 

As you take note of these responses, these thoughts that pop into your head without your permission, you see how they limit your experience of someone or something, not allowing for new information to be brought forth.

You will resist this awakening because your “judge” likes to be right.  Your “judge” would actually have you believe you are right than let you be happy.  Human beings will fight for their right to be right, sacrificing love and happiness, prosperity, health, and peace of mind.

When you practice being non-judgmental, you’ll acknowledge that you’ve been right about some things and wrong about others.  You’ll learn to observe from an “it’s not bad and it’s not good, it just is” place. “It’s not ugly, it’s just not my cup of tea.”  “Someone’s junk is another person’s treasure.”

We have given meaning to everything throughout our lives.  We are meaning making machines!  We have opinions about politics, religion, marriage, raising children, money, sex, the rights/wrongs/goods/bads/ likes/dislikes – just try and think of something you don’t have an opinion about.

Now, some people have taken non-judgmentality (I think I made this word up) a little too far.  You may become a person with no opinion – ever!  You quit making decisions because you don’t want it considered a judgment.  You become a fence-sitter.  Conversations with you become boring, even frustrating, because you won’t take a stand, afraid you’ll be considered judgmental.  

I have seen a personal growth student stopped cold upon hearing an accusation that they are being judgmental.  Like it is the very worst thing in the world to be!  What the student didn’t hear, even though the teacher may have spoken it, is that judging is not wrong or bad when it works – using discernment.

In order to use discernment, you must be open to receiving all the information, that which you think you already know and have an opinion about, and that which you don’t know.  You must be discerning when buying a house or a car, because you prefer not to end up in a fire trap or a lemon – am I right?  Be discerning picking out a college, a career, a doctor, or a mate!  Be discerning about your health or your child’s daycare.

What we are talking about is noticing the mind chatter of  “da judge” within you.  The chatter is the automatic thinking hatched from the beliefs you have.  This is core and the noticing is key in your growth. So just notice, and be fascinated!

What Brings You Joy?

What brings you joy?  This is a trick question, of course, because joy does not come to you.  Joy is not brought to you.  It's not laid out on a buffet in different flavors, shapes and sizes.

Yes, you can find yourself, or put yourself, in situations where it is easy to create the emotion of joy.  You can seek out or re-create the setting where you easily experienced joy in the past.  But still, the truth is, you chose joy - joy didn't choose you.

Thinking about joy this morning - and I don't know why I was thinking about joy this morning - I asked myself why, if I am at choice, did I not choose joy more often?  Of course, I would definitely benefit from being more joyful.  And wouldn't those around me also benefit if I was "being" more joy-filled?

Yesterday I was depressed.  I didn't consciously choose to be depressed.  Somewhere along the way I had trained my subconscious to create the feelings of depression when certain situations occurred.  Awakening to this awareness, I can now take conscious steps in re-training my subconscious.  How will I do that?  Awareness is key, so I will be vigilant in noticing when this happens and shift my thoughts and choose to feel something different.  I'll do some prep work through meditation and self-hypnosis.

Being depressed is not my emotion of preference.  I am leery of trying to cover up an unwanted emotion with a pseudo "happy" feeling.  There's a lesson in the depression and I want answers, so I usually stick with it awhile to see what comes up.  I want my reward!

We have been programmed from early on to respond with actions and feelings to our environment.  We can re-program ourselves to respond and feel differently, in a way we prefer, with a little work.  There are many tools and trainings, books and teachers - including your inner teacher - to help us with this shift in ourselves.

Well, I've got work to do - and so do you!  Don't be afraid to ask for help.  We at the Higher Self Bookstore have many resources - one that's perfect for you!

Success and Duality

Success.  It seems a rather ambiguous term to me.  I looked both “success” and “ambiguous” up in the dictionary.  Ambiguous means having two or more meanings.  Success is having a favorable outcome or result.  The Higher Self Bookstore has succeeded in keeping its doors open throughout the economic downslide as well as the most recent unfavorable weather that kept lots of people at home.

Success can also mean the gaining of wealth, fame, etc.  I cannot claim success by that definition.  Like most things, the meaning of what is gets to be quite personal. 

One of my favorite quotes from Conversations with God by Neale Donald Walsch is “There is something I don’t know here, the knowing of which can change everything!”  Some things I have learned recently (often kicking and screaming):

I am powerful and powerless at the same time.

I am wealthy and yet have no money, at the same time.

My surrender does not allow for doing nothing.

I am a success and a failure at the same time.

I can be very focused and quite blind at the same time.

Oh, there’s more, but you can get the picture.  Duality Reality! Depending on where I put my attention is the reality I experience in that moment.  That and there is where I make a choice.

Like I said, the Higher Self Bookstore has been very successful in keeping the doors open to serve you, either with the books and products you desire or with services to counsel and assist you in your personal and spiritual growth.  Even as a place just to breathe, find some peace, maybe even a hug, a smile, a laugh.

What we haven’t been successful in is being able to expand our services to you.  To keep the latest and greatest books and products on the shelves, fulfill special orders timely, or create an online store for our out-of-town or snowed in customers.  Our computer is antiquated, as is our web site. The store itself could use new carpeting, the walls painted, etc.  We haven’t failed – we just haven’t succeeded in those goals yet!

There are the facts to consider, but we get to choose the meaning of how those facts affect our reality.  We are all a success!  That’s how I see it.  I look forward to serving you successfully today, tomorrow, and in the years to come!  How I serve and where I serve may be different, but I will never fail in my commitment to make a difference.

Anybody Have a Suggestion?

I am now certified as a Lifestyle Engineer, approved to offer the Virtual Gastric Band Program.  As I've
mentioned, I had this procedure (no surgery!) and continue to shrink!  Because I am so impressed and thrilled, I wanted to be able to offer this amazing program to others.  But, more on that later.  What I learned during the training last week provided subject material for several blogs!  One at a time...

Lifeskills was a personal growth training I took years ago that put me on a completely different path, one with an understanding that what I believe creates my life.  Since then, I've participated in various workshops, trainings, not to mention the mountains of books I've read, that all seem to bring me full circle to - what I believe creates my life.

The message comes in many packages, using different language, but it all comes down to the same thing.  I call it beliefs, ones I accepted to be true based on what I was told, what I read, what I felt, from the day I was born (maybe even before). Lifestyle Engineering uses hypnosis-based language, like suggestions.  Indoctrination is a term used by another personal growth training. These indoctrinated beliefs or suggestions are what the sub-conscious uses to run your programs.  It doesn't always make sense - it's the conscious mind that analyses.  Problem is, the conscious mind can't remember all the beliefs/suggestions we decided were truth.  That's the sub-conscious mind's job.

In Lifeskills, we used experiential exercises to help you remember and look at those beliefs you forgot.  Then, tools were offered to "discreate" those beliefs.  To fill the void, a new, workable belief was provided to create what you preferred.  The question was asked, once, did we really "discreate" it?  Yes and no.  Your conscious mind eventually either forgot it, or, it became so unimportant you just never thought about it again.

During the training last week, I was to give a hypnosis I did not want to do.  I didn't think I could do it and I was afraid,holding back tears.  We had a break just before so I was walking around in circles asking myself "What is wrong with you?"  A memory surfaced. In Lifeskills, I identified that I had a core belief that I was a dangerous person, and that if I did it wrong I could really hurt somebody.  Oh, Yeah!  I hadn't thought about that in years!  My response to the memory:  "I remember.  I also remember that - YOU DON'T LIVE HERE ANYMORE!"  Pop.  It was gone.  I returned to class confident.

Moral of the story, it doesn't matter if a belief was entirely dis-created.  The good news is that we can convince the sub-conscious to take on a new belief/suggestion, one better to help us create the life we prefer.  There are many ways, many modalities - one is perfect for you.

The experiences and knowledge I've acquired over these past years are a perfect fit for my new services as a Lifestyles Engineer.  The power of suggestion can change your thinking, change your life.  I know, you've heard this before.  Probably cause it's true!

For more information about Lifestyle Engineering and the Virtual Gastric Band Procedure, contact me at the Higher Self Bookstore, (231) 941-5805