Here Comes 'da Judge

There I go dating myself.  This comes from an old TV program called Laugh In.  Judging, in many personal growth arenas, is emphasized as a bad thing.  Well, most good trainings would not use the word bad, or the word good.  It’s about what works! And I agree.

There is no right or wrong.  It’s about what works.  Throughout this blog I will use good and bad and right and wrong for the sake of clarity. Being judgmental is not bad and wrong, unless it is.

This is usually referring to our automatic responses  based on what we’ve decided to believe is right, wrong, good, bad, acceptable, offensive, pretty, ugly, affordable, expensive, moral, ethical, valuable, worthwhile, worthless, evil, deserving, safe, dangerous, etc. 

As you take note of these responses, these thoughts that pop into your head without your permission, you see how they limit your experience of someone or something, not allowing for new information to be brought forth.

You will resist this awakening because your “judge” likes to be right.  Your “judge” would actually have you believe you are right than let you be happy.  Human beings will fight for their right to be right, sacrificing love and happiness, prosperity, health, and peace of mind.

When you practice being non-judgmental, you’ll acknowledge that you’ve been right about some things and wrong about others.  You’ll learn to observe from an “it’s not bad and it’s not good, it just is” place. “It’s not ugly, it’s just not my cup of tea.”  “Someone’s junk is another person’s treasure.”

We have given meaning to everything throughout our lives.  We are meaning making machines!  We have opinions about politics, religion, marriage, raising children, money, sex, the rights/wrongs/goods/bads/ likes/dislikes – just try and think of something you don’t have an opinion about.

Now, some people have taken non-judgmentality (I think I made this word up) a little too far.  You may become a person with no opinion – ever!  You quit making decisions because you don’t want it considered a judgment.  You become a fence-sitter.  Conversations with you become boring, even frustrating, because you won’t take a stand, afraid you’ll be considered judgmental.  

I have seen a personal growth student stopped cold upon hearing an accusation that they are being judgmental.  Like it is the very worst thing in the world to be!  What the student didn’t hear, even though the teacher may have spoken it, is that judging is not wrong or bad when it works – using discernment.

In order to use discernment, you must be open to receiving all the information, that which you think you already know and have an opinion about, and that which you don’t know.  You must be discerning when buying a house or a car, because you prefer not to end up in a fire trap or a lemon – am I right?  Be discerning picking out a college, a career, a doctor, or a mate!  Be discerning about your health or your child’s daycare.

What we are talking about is noticing the mind chatter of  “da judge” within you.  The chatter is the automatic thinking hatched from the beliefs you have.  This is core and the noticing is key in your growth. So just notice, and be fascinated!

Meaning of Life

Meaning of Life
by Ricki Blanchard

On the day I was born
I was given one canvas
And an endless supply of paints
In every hue imaginable.

“What shall I paint?” I asked.
“The Meaning of Life,” was the answer.

So I began to create
With quite elementary strokes.
As time went by, my pictorials
Became more elaborate and sophisticated.

I possessed a free hand early on.
But then I painted what others
Thought I should, or what I
Thought others wanted to see.

Layer upon layer, pictures and
Landscapes, always changing
Sometimes retro or repetitive
On my one and only canvas.

More than once I colored
Over a scene still wet
To obliterate what was there
Making a total mess of it all.

My paints would become
Disorganized and scattered
Needing patience to pull them together
into a workable palette.

How this old canvas can withstand
The many coats of my imaginings
Are beyond my understanding,
But hold it all, it does.

You see, the Meaning of Life
Is exactly how I see it when I see it
Carefully or carelessly brushed
On my one and only canvas.

The canvas itself is meaningless.
All that is and No-thing at all.
A surface on which to illustrate
My illusions, ever-changing.

Of late, I find my paintings
More unique, less detailed
Vibrant and soft at the same time.
Always ready to be the one and only canvas
for a new view.