Heart A-Thumpin'

Two months ago I announced that I was selling the Higher Self Bookstore.  Every cell in my body screamed "Yes!" so I know it is the right decision for me.  I am trusting the Universe to make this easy, trusting that I will know what to do, and if I don't, the right people will show up with the right answers. 

Letting go is a process.  In selling the business, there are many things to consider, steps to be taken, legalities to be met, figures to work and re-work, and people to interview in finding the perfect match for the Higher Self.

The part of the process I wasn't expecting (at least not to the extent they are showing up) is the wide range of emotions I'm experiencing.  From excitement to down-right fear and everything in between.

If you were to ask me if I'm an emotional person I would answer, "No, I'm not."  It may be partly my nature (Gemini - it's a head thing), and partly because I have practiced practiced practiced viewing my reality from a place of fascination and openness.  It's not often that I have knee-jerk reactions.  I practice the concept that there is no wrong or right, just what works or doesn't work. 

This morning I was remembering when I flew down to Florida to help drive my Mom back to Michigan.  The hospice nurse asked me if I was an emotional person.  I immediately responded 'No, I'm not."  She accepted this without hesitation, without doubt.  I had no doubt.  I knew I would do what needed to be done and address my emotions and feelings later.

Now you may think that maybe I just bury my feelings, and you may be right in a way.  Maybe emotions are just slower to surface in me than in others.  As I deal with the business of selling the store, I welcome the emotions that are surfacing now.  What a blessing!  I get to look at them, each and every one, so that I may uncover the beliefs that are triggering them.  It's not the feelings that are buried, it's the beliefs: what I believe about success and failure, worthiness, value, meaning and purpose of life, the future, earning, deserving, responsibilities and ownership!

Personal growth, for me, is an ongoing adventure.  I dig and dig, then I take a break.  Sometimes my break lasts far longer than the Universe would prefer, so It gives me a push.  "Ricki, you can't go up another level until you go down another layer, take a good look, then let it go!"  Isn't this exciting?!

Welcome your emotions!  They are your first indicators to what you believe.  If that belief doesn't work for you any more, let it go.  There can be a big difference between what you believe and what is true.  If your belief is working for you - rejoice!

The Higher Self Bookstore has been a huge part of my life for nearly fifteen years and, of course, there are going to be emotions surrounding the separation process.  But not because of false beliefs - like, I'm not worthy, I won't succeed, I don't deserve, I'm afraid of the unknown...heck, they are already gone!  Next...bring it on!

Truth, or Wannabe?

I was reading through some of my older articles (before blogging) and ran across Truth, or Wannabe? It was written, obviously, not long after 9/11. As I read, it occurred to me that 2012 could easily replace 9/11 in the article. 2012 is a hot topic and much has been written and much is currently being discussed, well, everywhere!

Give it a try and see what you think:

There has been a plethora (I love that word!) of articles and books written since 9/11. They offer advise on how to go on, how to grieve, how to face your fears, how to cope, how to change the world, and even some proclaiming the end of the world. In my opinion, some were written from the heart, while others were written to make a buck. Some reinforce religious dogma, and some would have us building bomb shelters. Some are meant to exalt, and some are meant to tear down.

Like anything you read or intend to read, you’ll know the truth when you read it. The trick is knowing what is true for you, and what is merely evidence of what your ego wants you to believe.

For example, if you are holding a belief, or wanting to believe, that extraterrestrials are our only salvation, I’m sure that you could find written material that will support that. I call it “gathering evidence.” If a certain religion must be blamed for the world’s woes, I’m sure you can find evidence for that as well. In fact, for several weeks after 9/11, an acquaintance filled my email box with attachments of “you need to know!” propaganda against Islam. He doesn’t know me very well.

When I’m reading something new, I first tap into my good ol’ common sense. If I can’t make sense of it, I go to step two – what am I resisting here? What do I believe that blocks my understanding? If I come up with something, great! This is my opportunity to look at what’s up with me, what do I believe, and does it serve or limit me. If it is not working for me, I get rid of it. Now I’m more open to new ideas, new truth for myself.

If I come up with nothing, I pass on it. I know my truth, and this isn’t it. Or, I’ll search for further explanation of the text.

I trust myself to know the truth when it is presented. How do I know truth? It is an “Aha” moment, an excitement in my body, or a warm feeling of confirmation, a flash of light in my mind and heart, and a desire to be the messenger of truth.

How do I know what’s not true? A “no” whispers, sometimes shouts, throughout my being. I feel sad and heavy. And I want to be the messenger of what is NOT true.

If I feel anger, I go directly to step two, because anger is a clear signal to me that fear and self-righteousness are present.

These steps do not always work for me the first time. A previously dismissed truth will re-present itself to me repeatedly until I “get it.”

You may recognize yourself taking these same steps, consciously or unconsciously. I hope this is so, because there is a “plethora” of soul-feeding, peace-creating literature out there.

I’ve talked a lot about my truth, and your truth. The truth is, we are all one, each one of us is “we”. When one of “we” gets right down to it, right into the heart-afire, glory be, connected-in-love truth of it, we will all get it. If what I believe separates me in any way from you, it is not the truth. If what you believe separates me from you or you from me in any way, it is not the truth.

Some tips on what to read post-9/11: If it ain’t about love, it’s about fear – skip it. If it ain’t about unity, it’s about separation – save your money. If it ain’t about peace, it’s about war – read it only if you’re looking to justify and collect evidence pro-killing. If it’s a very, very old book written by old men – just know you may also need a library of other books offering definitions, explanations, interpretations, expansions and modernizations.

And guess what? This is not the truth! It’s my truth, what I believe, and you must find your own truth. You and your Higher Self.