A Great Experiment

The last couple days I have been contemplating the meanings of the words "punishment" and "consequence".  How this all came about was a recent debate - I said they are not the same thing, someone else saying they are the same thing. Well, in a way they are the same - according to the dictionary. But they are also different - and in a very powerful way!

What became clear to me was how certain words can be empowering, dis-empowering, or neutral.  It is my past experiences and indoctrinations, how I was raised and how the words were introduced and re-enforced to me that trigger my negative or positive (or neutral) responses.

For instance:  It's cold outside.  Is that true?  Here in Traverse City someone may believe 30 degrees is cold.  Someone in Alaska may think the opposite. "I'm cold" is really a personal experience. "I'm freezing!  I can't stand it! This is awful!"  - now this person has assigned very strong beliefs about what it is to be cold and is emotionally connected to those beliefs.

I'm cold.  It is what it is.  I will go inside or get another sweater. Or - yes, a break from the hot flashes. Mm.  You see, we give meaning to what we perceive our reality to be at the time.  The influences during our childhood can often be reflected in our experience of today.

A small child witnessing Mom freaking out about how cold it is outside can leave a lasting impression.  When the child is older and encouraged to go outside to play, child freaks out about how cold it is outside and refuses. 

You understand, of course, that I am not talking about the weather.  Words are one thing - the energy behind them, the inflections, negative or positive connotations, can have just as much power.  A mother could use the word consequence instead of punishment, but if she always associates it with pain and suffering that will be how the child incorporates that word into its experience!

This is how we learn as we grow and how we determine how we see the world.  What do you believe?  Pay attention to how you react - or not react - to words, labels, etc.  Notice how others react and ask yourself "What would a person have to believe to react that way?"  Now this is a Great Experiment!  Let me know how it goes!