Holiday Traditions

When I was growing up, I knew exactly where I was going to be on Thanksgiving and on Christmas Eve.  I knew not to get out of bed before 5:30am on Christmas morning. We opened presents on Christmas Day, not Christmas Eve.  We had ham on Christmas and turkey on Thanksgiving.

In my late teens, my mom’s family quit gathering on Thanksgiving.  Where will we go?  What will we do?  Every year after that was different.  These days I cook, not knowing who will be around to eat.

A few years later, my dad’s family decided not to gather on Christmas Eve and get together a week or two before Christmas.  What will we do on Christmas Eve now?  Where will we go?  What will we do? 

I married, divorced, moved away, came back, changed jobs…as did my siblings and cousins.  We had children.  They grew up and got jobs, married, had children.  Getting together as our family extends and extends is challenging.  We do our best.

Trying to establish new holiday traditions has become, well, challenging to say the least, sometimes frustrating, often disappointing.  And I’m just talking about my immediate family!

This Christmas the planning looked something like this:

Are we having Chinese again this Christmas Eve? I don’t know.  Are we opening presents Christmas Eve?  I don’t know.  I’m babysitting then we have small kids around and I don’t know when Anna will be home.  Anna, what time will you be home?  I don’t know.

What time will the kids be up in the morning?  I don’t know – be here by 6a.m.  Are we opening presents then?  I don’t know.  What time are the kids leaving?  I don’t know.  What time is Christmas dinner?  I don’t know.  Are we playing cards after dinner?  I don’t know. I think they are going fishing.

So, I think that is what’s called ‘winging it’!  It ended up being a lovely holiday filled with excitement and confusion, but we had ourselves … a merry little Christmas! I would have to say, though, that our core traditions were: spending as much time as possible together, appreciating each other, and not being attached to traditions-past.

Today is New Year’s Eve!  What am I doing?  I don’t know…yet.  But whatever it is, it will be right and perfect.  Being okay with not knowing takes practice, focusing on what is important and not on what should have been because it has already been – that’s the challenge and the gift.  I’m getting better every year!

Happy New Year everyone!

What's On Your Plate?

You've heard the expressions, "My plate is full."  "I can't fit anymore on my plate right now." Is a
bigger plate required?  Lately I've been saying "yes" to more and more ideas and businesses and business extensions because, well, they sounded good!  Possibilities of additional income were too tempting to say no to.  More responsibilities, more to learn, more people to talk to, new websites to maintain, and more work and, intentionally, more fun!

I've been contemplating this plate of mine.  How do I make it bigger?  Can I make it bigger?  My mind wandered to plates and food, of course. Since my Virtual Gastric Bypass hypnosis, I eat much smaller amounts of food, requiring a smaller plate.  I've lost weight and I am healthier.

Imagine with me a typical Thanksgiving dinner plate of food.  There was a time I loaded up the big plate and ate it all.  I was uncomfortable for the next several hours, I gained weight, and I jeopardized my wellness.  Today, I could not do that plate of food justice.  Turkey would be half eaten, potatoes barely touched, the vegetables...who has room for vegetables?

So back to my needing a bigger plate for all my new endeavors.  Being honest, I am not truly doing justice to many of the items on my plate.  None are being handled really well.  The intended "fun" is not yet my reality.  The challenges could be creating the healthy kind of stress, but that is not the case at this time.  I spent most of August sick and the last week and a half down with a cold and sinus congestion.  Say it with me...Duh!

It's time to clean my plate.  Where do I want to put my attention?  In what areas do I want to excel?  What can be delegated?  Which brings me the most joy?  I'm gonna get me a smaller plate!

What size is your plate?  Too full and you can explode.  Not full enough and you will get bored.  We need a plate that's just right holding just the right amounts.  It's called balance!  Balance with me and have a wonderful, joyful day of Thanks!

Tis the Season - The Truth About It

Tis the Season of Holidays.  This week we take down the Halloween decorations and spruce up with fall colors and symbols of the harvest in preparation for Thanksgiving.  Already there are Christmas decorations, as well as Christmas music, in many of the stores (not at the Higher Self Bookstore)! 

We take a moment, sometimes a very short moment, to honor and contemplate the meaning of the season and the holiday.  Too often it is short-lived and we are distracted by the list of things to do that we’ve made for ourselves.  Busy, busy, busy.

I find myself taking on the responsibility of making sure those around me can be joyous, peaceful, comfortable and well fed, imaging I’m the only one who can do it.  I’m the only one who knows that my holiday company can only feel these things I desire for them if I deep clean, wash the glassware to a sparkle, plan the menu, shop for the best deals so there’s money available for some special treats, and coordinate my dates and times around everyone else so there is no stress and all can come and experience the joy and comfort I have prepared for them.

Am I listening to myself?  How arrogant to think only I know what will make you happy!  As I make myself crazy, you are sitting back without a clue as to what has gotten into me!  I’m guessing I am not the only one who puts themselves in this position.

I know it is “I” who feels more comfortable if the glasses sparkle.  It is “I” who feels good being able to give special gifts.  I am the one who enjoys cleaning and cooking for company.  Yep, it's all about me.  Unless, of course, it isn't.  Truth be said, when I remember that these things are not a “have to”, that I actually do it for the joy of it, this hostess is not crazy and nicer to be around.

I invite you to join me in doing it a little differently this year.  If doing a thing does not bring you joy, consider dropping it from your list or finding someone else to do it, someone who does find joy in it.  Dig for the truth of it:  the preparations and the gift giving, do I really have to or do I want to.

Make those moments of honor and contemplation stretch out longer, maybe do a little research to share with your holiday companions.  Create an environment of joy and peace, from the inside out.  Being joy and peace invites those around you to Be the same.

Breathe!  Make it fun!  Give the gift of peace, joy, and love – yours!