Flow with the Flux

My friend, Brenda, often said something like, "He's giving me the flux!" She was obviously frustrated at these times and I just assumed she was saying, "He's making me crazy!"

The other day the word flux showed up in my head while talking about how fast the world seems to be changing and the increasing challenges that are appearing in so many people's lives. I figured it was time to read the actual definition of flux. 1) flow 2) rate of flow 3) a continuous movement or change.

I pick Door Number 3! Yup, continuous change can sure provide the opportunity for a person to think they are going insane. We are in flux like we have never been in flux before (well, I've read that we have been here before but "we" in our bodies of today have not.)

It would be nice if we could put on the brakes and take a breather, but that is not going to happen and we'd only want to take another break, and another. We must learn to be in flow with the flux!

You can be in a state of flux, call it bad, and make yourself crazy. Or you can learn to be in flow with the flux and enjoy the ride. You can't stop the universe, or the new energies that are affecting us on all levels. You can't change congress in a day, or bring peace to the world in an hour. You can flow with the changes and bring peace to yourself now.

I know, all the teachers are telling you to accept change, embrace change, practice change - and they are absolutely right. But how? Breathe, deeply. Know that you are at choice - you can let go instead of fight the flux. My therapist (Chinese medicine) told me my hip problem was because I was being pulled in too many directions. Allowing would be more accurate. What else was I to do but twist and turn to keep all the balls in the air - flux adding more balls all the time?

Well, I identified which balls must be managed in this moment and let the others drop. Let me tell you there were some people who were not happy with this decision. Later, when I was more balanced and the stabbing in my hip went away, I went to pick up the balls I had dropped and, lo and behold, they were gone! Of course, new balls are always coming my way via flux - some I grab onto, some I let go by.

As my hip healed, I rested. Breathe and rest. Some mornings I'd wake up in a sour mood, with no reason for it (ever happen to you?). I'd spend the entire morning psycho-analysing myself! What's up with me? Is there a buried issue coming up? Did a dark entity enter my house?

When I got to the Higher Self Bookstore, a psychic might say "did you feel that energy shift?", or an astrologer would tell me we just entered mercury retrograde or this planet just entered that other planet's orbit - did I feel it? So, I had spent my precious morning looking for what was wrong with me when all that happened was a shift in energy. I don't do that anymore.

Breathe, rest, and choose what you want to pay attention to. Flux in itself is not good or bad. Avoid judging the flux! In her frustration, Brenda made flux a bad thing. Flux is flux, flux is flow, it is what it is. You can't fight it, so flow with it. Here's a little something that came to me this morning that helps in discerning good and bad:

There was a little girl, who had a little curl - right in the middle of her forehead
When she was good, she was doing what she should -
And when she was bad she was awesome!

Integrity and Following the Rules

Rules were created to establish order, am I right? Without rules - chaos! If a rule, or law, no longer supports order then steps should be taken to change or cancel it. However, until that is established, the rule should still be followed. You know, status quo and all that.

I have a confession to make - I'm a rule follower. At the same time, I'm the first one to declare, "Challenge Authority!" I have not been practicing what I preach, and I am waking up to the fact that the rules are just not keeping up with the fast-paced changes that are occurring.

Somehow, I had incorporated "following the rules" into my interpretation of integrity, and a woman of integrity is who I have chosen to "Be." By this, what I mean is, I stand by my word. If I say it, I will do it. My word is my bond, you can count on me. Over the years, I have been more careful with my "word" and this practice has resulted in more balance in my life, not over committing my time, etc.

Of course, there have been times when I had to change my priorities and change my word. As an example, just in the last 24 hours, I agonized about traveling home today as I had said I would. A blizzard has just passed through this region and it is still snowing. I know I could get on the road and make it back to Traverse City, Michigan, today - driving slowly, and carefully, and watchfully of other drivers on the snow-covered, icy-in-places, I-75 North. Tomorrow it will be sunny. One would think this would be an easy decision, but for me it was not.

I recognize that I have become attached to this identity, a woman of integrity. I follow the rules, even to the detriment of my well-being, the well-being of my family, and of my business. Some of the agreements I entered into years ago did not take into account the changes that have occurred, neither by me or the authority I gave my power away to. The authority (the companies and people I gave my word to, either verbal or under contract) insist I keep my word. What to do?

First, I detach from the unfair limitation I placed on myself - the strictly defined and restricting label of integrity = rule follower. Second, I will assess what the truth is. What was true then is not always true today, so I will not proceed blindly into this is the way it's always been done so do your duty or else. Third, I willingly step out of the box (in this case the box is about always following the rules) and see just what can be done for the highest good of all with harm to none (which includes me!)

It amazes me that it always come down to the same lesson no matter the challenge, the issue, or the situation: Notice, awaken, detach (let go), step out of the box, and let the how show up as I take action.

It's okay to change my rules when the game has changed. It's okay to keep my word and I will, and I will allow for amendments and addendums - for the highest good of all (me included).

Be Happy - Write It Down!

I'm sure there is a lot of blogging going on about the New Year and resolutions and setting goals. Well, I have just one recommendation for you. Make Being Happy your goal. Then write it down - everywhere!

You are saying, "Silly Ricki, of course being happy is my goal! It's always my goal! That's the purpose of being human, to be happy."

Ah, I say, but do you remember? Do you wake up each and every morning and say to yourself, "Today I will Be Happy!" I bet you don't. I know, because I don't. And you are me and I am you and so on and so on.

This past year has presented many challenges and lessens, and I am not alone. There were at least two months straight when I forgot that being happy was my mission. It wasn't written down anywhere and I was so immersed in the drama, in the pit, that I'm not even sure if I would have seen a smiley face sticker I would have recognized it. But I might have.

So here's my plan, and I am Happy to share it with you. I will write Be Happy as my Number One goal for 2011. I will outline an emergency plan for getting Happy when stuff happens, such as: Watch a comedy (America's Funniest Home Videos is my favorite for making myself laugh), Dance like nobody's watching, Take a walk and Big Smile everyone I meet, and Make funny faces in the mirror.

Then, I am going to write "Be Happy" on every page of every calendar and day planner and every To Do List. I'm going to write "Be Happy" on post-its and place them all over the house and in my office at the Higher Self Bookstore. In the bathroom, I'll stick a note on the mirror that says "How Ya Doing, Sweetie?" (That one always makes me smile!)

Okay, I hear you, and I know that some days it just feels too hard. Then the goal that day will be to feel better. Just better. Then work up to feeling pretty good. Draw a smiley face on your hand - next thing you know your face is smiley, too!

Just imagine if everyone took on the goal/mission/purpose of Be Happy. What a way to serve humanity! You know that when you are around Happy people it is hard to resist being Happy, too. Get Happy, Be Happy, then go out and Happy-Up the World! What can possibly be better than that?

Danger! Danger! Danger!

I have often commented that I wanted to write a book on the dangers of personal growth. Really, there should be warnings before inquiring about oneself and the possibilities of being more. One of the chapters would be about how the people in your life will change -NOT.

When you wake up, even the least little bit, you will notice how the people around you are not the people they used to be. Especially the people close to you. Somehow they are different and you don’t recognize them as you used to. Of course, they didn’t change – you did.

When you were sleeping, you daydreamed how people were – usually the way you wanted them to be. Or expected them to be. Unconsciously, you decided what to see and what to be blind to.

I took a trip not too long ago with some people I used to travel with to Las Vegas. I’d been there with them before and had a good time. Once I got there it was like I didn’t know these people at all! These were acquaintances from my sleepwalking days.

I found myself switching back and forth between judging and being in fascination as fast as I could blink my eyes! I kept asking myself questions, like “Were they always like this?” “Did they always talk like this?” “Was I like this, am I still like this?”

Answering myself, I said, yes, they are the same as they always were. One man in particular, my host, spurred my own soul searching the most. In our past, I had been quite impressed with his self-confidence, how he carried himself, how he seemed to make others take notice of him, that he was free with his money. My dream man!

The man in my wakened state was not so confident after all. In fact, it appeared to me that he tried to raise his self-esteem, make himself more important, by making himself big, and others small. I know he did not know, was not aware, that he was doing this. And I knew he did not want to know – not at this time or in this place.

He hadn’t changed. I had. My choice to become aware, to wake up to who I am and who I want to be has taken me down a path, a path I chose consciously. I encouraged others to come with me. I had encouraged him to come with me when I first started out. I thought he had tagged along, for a little ways, at least.

Not everyone you know and love will choose to walk the path with you. It’s okay, they are already on a path of their own choosing, and they just may not know it. Some will try to keep you from going down a path you chose, may even reach out to pull you back, because they know their life will change if you go. But you can never go back. Once you wake up, even a little, that part of you can never be put back to sleep again.

A personal growth trainer I worked with would get down sometimes after giving a three-hour free introductory course. She would be discouraged that people hadn’t signed up to continue the training, and she would feel sad that they apparently chose to not make a change, to not wake up. I would reminder her that each and every one of them had indeed made a change, had awakened – it was impossible not to, unless they had literally snored through the entire three-hour training. They knew too much now to ever be the same again.

Even your reading this now is an inquiry of your own to know more, to experience more, to be opened and awakened to new possibilities. And you will never be quite the same as you were.

The dangers of personal growth: You will change. Others may leave you, you may leave others. You will love and bless them, as I love and bless those from the Vegas trip.

The dangers of not seeking personal growth: You will change. Others may leave you, you may leave others. You will stay asleep and life will happen to you.

The good news is, when you seek to grow you will change purposefully. You will take your power back from wherever or whomever you gave it to. Be grateful that it was taken care of while you slept.

People may leave, but there are people just waiting to welcome you into your wakefulness.

I meet others on the path I chose and I keep their company. It is important for me to have their support, faith, and encouragement. There are hands out there reaching even now to pull me back, put me in the cubbyhole they think I should be in. I hold on tight to the hands that won’t let me go that gently push me forward.

There are dangers in personal growth. You will never be the same and you can never to back. Ah, but the rewards are eternal!

Meaning of Life

Meaning of Life
by Ricki Blanchard

On the day I was born
I was given one canvas
And an endless supply of paints
In every hue imaginable.

“What shall I paint?” I asked.
“The Meaning of Life,” was the answer.

So I began to create
With quite elementary strokes.
As time went by, my pictorials
Became more elaborate and sophisticated.

I possessed a free hand early on.
But then I painted what others
Thought I should, or what I
Thought others wanted to see.

Layer upon layer, pictures and
Landscapes, always changing
Sometimes retro or repetitive
On my one and only canvas.

More than once I colored
Over a scene still wet
To obliterate what was there
Making a total mess of it all.

My paints would become
Disorganized and scattered
Needing patience to pull them together
into a workable palette.

How this old canvas can withstand
The many coats of my imaginings
Are beyond my understanding,
But hold it all, it does.

You see, the Meaning of Life
Is exactly how I see it when I see it
Carefully or carelessly brushed
On my one and only canvas.

The canvas itself is meaningless.
All that is and No-thing at all.
A surface on which to illustrate
My illusions, ever-changing.

Of late, I find my paintings
More unique, less detailed
Vibrant and soft at the same time.
Always ready to be the one and only canvas
for a new view.

Rainy Days and Feeling Good

What’s so bad about feeling bad was the topic of a couple of my blogs this year. Today, I am contemplating what’s so bad about feeling good? For instance, you notice people at a funeral who are smiling and laughing – do you judge them as uncaring, uncompassionate? After a hurricane, you expect the survivors on the TV news to be morose and devastated – what would you think if they were laughing and joking?

I was thinking about what the future might hold for this earth, some of the possibilities being that the landscape and the weather may change quite significantly. Oh no, you cry, do not go there! You will attract the end of the world! But wait, I am not “feeling” the energy of judgments, such as awful, devastating, fearful, woeful, panic, anger, etc. There is no energy behind my thoughts whatsoever.

We are told by many that we attract to us what we think. I don’t believe this is entirely complete in the teaching. I think it is the energy behind the thought that activates the magnet, drawing that which we have energy on to show up in our lives. If I am in a neutral, contemplative state, then it makes sense to me that the Universe will also be in that state. Only until I add energy and emotion, and of course action, that the Universe starts to move. Does this make sense? It is becoming clearer to me, but then again, it’s my mind and my reality.

So, let’s look at feeling good and possibilities of the future and feeling good in that moment which is the next now. Definitely, I know that I want to focus on the moment of now and feeling good in the now. While in the now, I can think about the future in a very neutral place. To get clearer, I read and listen, go to classes and participate in discussions. I decide what makes sense and what doesn’t, what rings true for me and what I choose not to pay the slightest bit of attention to. Then, I assimilate that information into my now.

Now, sitting in the now and knowing in the now that I want to feel good in this now and the next now, I decide how to be and what actions I will take to be that and feel good in the now and in the next now. For instance, today I decide to BE strong. So I will focus on making my mind, body and spirit strong through exercises of meditating, reading, walking, yoga, etc. As I become stronger and stronger, I am supported in being strong in the next now, and supported in feeling good in the next now.

In the next now which becomes the present now, let’s say that the rains come. Did I create the rain? Me and millions of others, in present and past lifetimes, before we woke up, unless we didn’t, but we are talking hypothetically today. Through my present moment exercises, I am stronger, and I am grateful for that, and this supports me in feeling good in this place of a very, very rainy present now. It is okay to feel good, even though others may be adding mournful tears to the waters.

We get in our own way sometimes, over thinking, over guessing, over fearing. In my present now, as I BE strong, I also help others to BE strong…or BE compassionate, or BE wise – we can BE many ways in one present now. That is my mission and the mission of the Higher Self Bookstore – as it is the mission of many individuals, groups, and establishments. To support you in your personal and spiritual growth, to offer opportunities for knowledge and clarity.

For me, I choose to be in the present moment, focused on feeling good, and in preparation for the next now moment of feeling good, no matter what.

"I Know Your Mama Taught You Better"

I stepped in gum in the parking lot. It was the second time this summer. Instead of reflecting on the esoteric symbolism of these events in my life, my thought was immediate: "I know your mama taught you better than this!" I mean, really - what mother would teach her child to spit out gum in a parking lot?

It reminded me of a time, years ago, when I lived in Port Huron, Michigan, on my way north to a destination I can't recall. I was in the car behind a convertible with two young men sitting in it. As we were waiting for the light to change, the passenger dude reached out and dropped a large bag of Burger King waste on the ground! I had the opportunity to pull up next to him and said, "I know your mama taught you better than that!" He laughed, said something about mothers, and they drove on. We were heading in the same direction and I followed them for miles, strategizing how I would teach them a lesson (I didn't know about karma then).

They eventually pulled into a party store/gas station. Here was my chance! I would go dump one of the trash cans right into their convertible! Yes, that would teach'em!

No, I chickened out. My fear of legal repercussions, or respect for convertibles, won out but I have regretted not taking that action ever since.

Did their mothers not teach them about littering? Of course they did! As did the schools and anyone else who had their attention for a split second. Then why do we so quickly want to blame a parent for a person's misbehavior? More importantly, why do we blame ourselves as parents for the misbehavior of our own children?

If I recall correctly, I did teach my child to only spit gum into a waste receptacle (or my hand) and not to litter, and explained that it was inconsiderate to others and the environment. She did it anyway and reaped my wrath if I happened to catch her at it). Did she stop doing these things through fear of my anger? Or, did she step in gum and have an AHA moment? I can't know for sure.

I know I am not alone in my private thoughts as a mother: Did I do it right? Did I do it wrong? Could I have done it differently? The answer will always be yes, so I don't waste as much time on these particular meditations as I used to. I did my best, and I do better all the time. The kid will truly learn her lessons her way, no matter how much I'd like it to be my way.

So, to the gum-spitters, because I love you, "May you step in gum until you don't anymore."