Two months ago I announced that I was selling the Higher Self Bookstore. Every cell in my body screamed "Yes!" so I know it is the right decision for me. I am trusting the Universe to make this easy, trusting that I will know what to do, and if I don't, the right people will show up with the right answers. Letting go is a process. In selling the business, there are many things to consider, steps to be taken, legalities to be met, figures to work and re-work, and people to interview in finding the perfect match for the Higher Self.
The part of the process I wasn't expecting (at least not to the extent they are showing up) is the wide range of emotions I'm experiencing. From excitement to down-right fear and everything in between.
If you were to ask me if I'm an emotional person I would answer, "No, I'm not." It may be partly my nature (Gemini - it's a head thing), and partly because I have practiced practiced practiced viewing my reality from a place of fascination and openness. It's not often that I have knee-jerk reactions. I practice the concept that there is no wrong or right, just what works or doesn't work.
This morning I was remembering when I flew down to Florida to help drive my Mom back to Michigan. The hospice nurse asked me if I was an emotional person. I immediately responded 'No, I'm not." She accepted this without hesitation, without doubt. I had no doubt. I knew I would do what needed to be done and address my emotions and feelings later.
Now you may think that maybe I just bury my feelings, and you may be right in a way. Maybe emotions are just slower to surface in me than in others. As I deal with the business of selling the store, I welcome the emotions that are surfacing now. What a blessing! I get to look at them, each and every one, so that I may uncover the beliefs that are triggering them. It's not the feelings that are buried, it's the beliefs: what I believe about success and failure, worthiness, value, meaning and purpose of life, the future, earning, deserving, responsibilities and ownership!
Personal growth, for me, is an ongoing adventure. I dig and dig, then I take a break. Sometimes my break lasts far longer than the Universe would prefer, so It gives me a push. "Ricki, you can't go up another level until you go down another layer, take a good look, then let it go!" Isn't this exciting?!
Welcome your emotions! They are your first indicators to what you believe. If that belief doesn't work for you any more, let it go. There can be a big difference between what you believe and what is true. If your belief is working for you - rejoice!
The Higher Self Bookstore has been a huge part of my life for nearly fifteen years and, of course, there are going to be emotions surrounding the separation process. But not because of false beliefs - like, I'm not worthy, I won't succeed, I don't deserve, I'm afraid of the unknown...heck, they are already gone! Next...bring it on!
